Wedding Rings You Don’t Love and How to Change Them
Like Dear Abby, Calla Gold Jewelry Advises Women About Jewelry Issues.
Alison asks, “Do many women wear wedding rings they’re not crazy about? Or is it just me?”
You've asked an excellent question Alison. Many a man will choose your engagement ring without knowing what your taste is.
His priority is to propose to you and start a new life with you. This is great, except for the fact that you may end up wearing a ring daily that doesn’t suit you. And if it’s not a style that you like, well it rightly dims your pleasure in it.
Many Women Don’t Like Their Wedding Rings
If this is you, you’re not alone. Many women have let me know that the ring that was great ten years ago now feels dated.
Maybe she didn’t love it to begin with, but didn’t want to hurt her wonderful man’s feelings. Or it was all they could afford at the time and now he’s sentimental about it, even though they could afford a better ring now.
You Don’t Have to Wear Your Wedding Ring Forever Unchanged
There are tons of reasons why you may be ready for a new design for your wedding ring. In my opinion since your wedding jewelry is worn every day and stands for your relationship, it should be beautiful to you, up to date and stylish and complementary on your hand.
You’re Not Your Grandma, You’re You
Let’s face it, a ring style that looks awesome on a twenty year old hand, makes an older hand look, well…older. There’s no law that says you have to wear the same exact ring for your whole marriage. Just because Grandma did it doesn’t mean you have to.
In a Perfect Jewelry World, Your Wedding Ring Changes With You
In the full disclosure department Alison, I have one wonderful husband and four wedding rings.
My tastes have changed and my hands have changed. I’ve been married a long time. Oh yeah, and I’m a Jeweler so I can do that!
Alison asks, “So How Do I Go About Changing My Ring Diplomatically?”
When it is wearing down or just breaking a bit in ten to fifteen years I usually hear, "I don't even really like the style that much." Often at the time when your ring loses a diamond or needs some repair, you have an opportunity to suggest a change.
Don’t just fix it. Talk to your Jewelry Designer about changes that could be made to make it better for you. Or discuss a new design. I repeat, don’t just fix it. You have an opportunity to get your ring situation changed! Seize the day!
Husbands are more inclined to go for a change when they see that the ring is breaking down. If you quit wearing it and ask if for your next birthday or anniversary or Christmas you could design a new ring with a larger diamond or whatever changes excite you, you may find that the answer is yes.
Alison, let’s get together and draw up a design you’d like. If you show him the drawing we come up with it’ll make it more real to him.
I have redesigned a lot of wedding rings and it's always been such a happy experience for the woman involved.
You May Not Have to Wait Long to Get the Ring You Really Want
With assertive wives with strong, "I can take it" type of husbands, I've suggested telling him you'd like to redesign it to better suite your lifestyle. I've redesigned a number of wedding rings within a year of the marriage. (Not ones I designed originally.)
Do You Have a Wedding Ring You Don’t Love as Much as You Should?
I hope if a woman out there is reading this and unhappy with the style of her wedding ring she'll call a Jeweler she trusts or call me.
I know all the great justifications for ring changes and they won't hurt your husband's feelings. He loves you, and wants you to love your ring. And so do I!
Wedding Ring Re-Designer
Calla-as we live our lives, and grow and change, so do our tastes. What we liked when we were 20 years old certainly changes as we get older. What I wore as clothes in my 20’s-30’s is certainly not what I would wear today.Out tastes change and so should our most precious ring-wedding ring. If it’s out of date or you want a change-Do IT!!!! Life is short.Enjoy now!!!
Alison, You are so right. Those outfits I wore in my 20’s and 30’s have been long purged from my closet. Happily I still have the same husband, but I happily admit to having four wedding rings. My tastes change and my hand changes. I love them all, but I wear the most recent one all the time because it suits my look today and my hands today.
Thanks for your viewpoint!
So true that no law exists saying a woman must wear the same ring the rest of her married life. Having said that, I personally LOVE the ring my husband gave me 21 years ago. We designed it together from the start. Of course I admit to loving my hubby even more than my ring….. Call me lucky!
What a happy response. I’ve seen your ring and I see why you still love its uniqueness. And your hubby sounds fantastic too. I will call you lucky, for sure. It’s nice to hear from you because I wrote this for those who need a change or at least a tweek and it’s nice to hear from the other viewpoint too. Kinda balances thing out!
What an uncomfortable subject. I’m so glad you tackled it in your usual helpful and breezy manor.
You should write a book!
Anyway you’ve got me thinking. A new wedding ring would be so cool.
It’s been 25 years after all. Your blog is a help to me. Perhaps I’ll call you for a coaching on how to tell my husband I want to do this diplomatically.
Write a book? That’s a cool idea.
I also really like the idea of a wedding ring re-do in your future!
Thanks for the tips. My mom has a lot of nice rings, but none of them would work for my soon-to-be fiance. Anyone know a designer that could use stones and/or base settings to make a new ring?
If there are jewelry designers in your local area they may have the creativity to help you. If you would like to work at a distance I re-design family jewelry into engagement rings regularly.
That is nice that your mom is happy with your intended and willing to contribute to your wedding ring happiness.
Your Personal Jeweler,
Hi Calla. I was just trying to find out if there is anyway to change the width of a wedding band. When I picked it out I wasn’t planning on wearing my engagement ring with it every day since I’m a nurse. But I’ve started wearing my engagement ring with it and it’s just too wide and is starting to hurt my finger. Is there any options? My ring is a 6mm titanium band.
Hello Erin, Your situation is not unique. What I have done in the past is to grind the shank of a ring thinner in width and then polish it. In each case I have gotten great feedback about the improved comfort of my client’s ring. You just want to make sure whoever is doing your work has a designer background so they make it look cohesive with the basic design. One of my clients had a wide band which we thinned, but also because it was bulky I introduced a comfort fit inside feel by making the surface convex on… Read more »
My wife and I have been married over 16 years. We always wear our wedding rings. Recently I took mine off to wash my hands at work. The soap is very coarse so my ring is really scratched up. I forgot it and left. I did get it back the next day. Then about a week later my wife took our kids to the public pool and hers came off in the water. She also got hers back a few days later. We both were very lucky. I was kinda looking at getting new rings when hers was lost. I… Read more »
Hi Mark, It’s funny, but people start re-designing their rings sometimes as soon as five years into their marriage. Sometimes having kids makes their current design too impractical, or other reasons. Often ten years is another time when I do a lot of redesigning. Our hands change, our jobs change, or taste changes. Or a sweet husband wants to replace the ring because their circumstances are better. It is quite romantic of you thinking of getting a new ring designed for your wife. After sixteen years it sounds like she’s a keeper, you too for that matter! A while ago… Read more »
In this day and age, how do you just walk out of a jewelry store or mail in your diamonds and know that you’ll them back and aren’t walking out with a ring full of CZ’s?
Most jewelers cherish their position of trust and use their knowledge to care for their clients, with whom they wish to have a long relationship. If you work with a long-term family-owned jewelry store, or a designing jeweler, they will take good care of you. I didn’t become a jeweler to rip people off. I became a jeweler to be a hero. Sometimes I was the only one who knew the good turn I did for a client, and that was enough for me. Find the right jeweler and stick to them.