The Fifteen Reasons Men Don’t Buy Jewelry for Women


Full Disclosure

Jeremy, my husband, added all the "dudes" and all the funny stuff. I'm leaving it in!

I Really Wanted to Know Why the Guy's Were Shying Away From Buying Jewelry

I don’t know about other parts of the world, but for this Santa Barbara Jeweler, it was a mystery. Why don't men by jewelry for women?

To be fair, some of you do. I know. I’ve sold it to you—and to some, multiple times. Way to go, Dudes!

Over the years I’ve compiled a mental list of excuses from men for why they don’t buy women jewelry. Want to hear some? Here goes.

Fifteen Reasons Men Don’t Buy Jewelry for Women

  1. “I have no idea what my wife likes.” Dude! Talk to the woman… or talk to her best friend or talk to her Jeweler!
  2. “She never asks for jewelry.” See #1.
  3. “The last time I bought her something she exchanged it for something else.” So you give up that easily? Don’t wimp out, man!
  4. “Jewelry is too expensive.” My son bought his girlfriend a very nice sterling silver necklace for thirty bucks. You don’t have to get her the Hope diamond.
  5. “She complained about how much it cost.” But secretly loved it. Acknowledge her and move on. She’s wearing it isn’t she?
  6. “Jewelry is frivolous. It’s unnecessary.” Something that symbolizes undying love is not frivolous.
  7. “She buys her own jewelry. Why should I?” Because she wants you to, Doofus! It’s a gift; a present. Girls like to be surprised. They dream about being given meaningful gifts from loved ones and telling their friends it's from you.
  8. “She buys her own clothes. What’s the difference?” See #7
  9. “I always get her something for the home.” I don’t care what she says, the last thing she wants for her anniversary is a toaster. There is nothing tackier than giving the love of your life a toaster or a couch to commemorate your marriage.
  10. “She has a bunch of jewelry she never wears. The last thing she needs is another ring or pair of earrings.” First of all, 80% of the stuff is probably out of date, broken, and can’t be worn. Secondly, a woman can never have too much jewelry. Period. And again, see #7.
  11. “It simply never occurred to me.” Well…now you know!
  12. “I bought her a wedding ring. I’m done. Right?” Not even, Dude!
  13. “I know nothing about jewelry. How do I know I’m not getting ripped off?” Read reviews on the internet; ask co-workers; ask a couple of jewelry lovers; ask your wife! Ask me! Clients refer people to Calla Gold Jewelry all the time.
  14. “I have no idea where to buy jewelry. How do I know I can trust them?” See #13
  15. “Everybody gets jewelry. I want to do something different.” That’s fine. Do something different. I love doing different things! Take her to Hawaii or rafting down the Colorado. Ride bikes across Europe. In the middle of the trip, though…surprise her with a piece jewelry. Now she'll always be reminded of that something different that you so thoughtfully dreamed up.

Girls, in case your guy happens to fit into one or more of these categories (or one I haven’t mentioned), show him this blog post.

What You Can Do About it
(Guys you can stop reading now, this part is for the ladies)

Let him know you love him and he can actually buy jewelry for you. Hopefully, he’ll take the hint!

Surprisingly Enough Guys Are Not Psychic, Talk to Him

Occasionally I meet a woman who loves jewelry and her husband just doesn't get it. I tell her, "show him your jewelry and tell him how much the pieces gifted to you by your parents, friends or whoever, (don't mention that old boyfriend jewelry) mean to you. Clearly tell him you'd love something special from him because it means more if it comes from him."

Make it easy for him. Make a jewelry wish list and keep it current. Then, you can tell him that secret agent Calla Gold has the encrypted "loved-jewelry" document under lock and key. All he has to do is call Calla Gold Jewelry Headquarters or your favorite local jeweler and your classified jewelry dreams will be revealed. If you'd like an engagement ring, fill out my quiz and give it to him, your mom and your best friend. Quiz for engagement ring desires.

After seeing that movie next Sunday, mosey on into a jewelry store you like and show him things you like. Some fellas need a very direct approach to change their habits from buying your fishing tackle to sparkly goodies.

What's the Takeaway Message Here?

If he's not giving you jewelry now, change what you're doing. Stop waiting, stop hinting, just say what you really want. Make it happen.

Your Personal Jeweler,

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About Calla Gold

Calla Gold is a Personal Jeweler and Author who takes pride in working with clients one-on-one to integrate their personal sense of style and taste into custom designed jewelry and repaired jewelry pieces.   Unlike typical Santa Barbara jewelry businesses, Calla Gold has no brick-and-mortar location. Calla Gold comes to you, bringing you the jewelry collection you want to see and collaborating with you to create unique custom jewelry. Calla also works with at-a-distance clients.

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Jacquelin Daugherty
Jacquelin Daugherty
13 years ago

Hello Calla, Great reason. I have a mother in law who my husbands father never buys her one piece of jewelry in 25 years. OMG I could not marryy a man like that. I took time to educate my husband. Like;when we were looking a diamonds. He knows colors, The 3 Cs. I love amythest. He always says to me; you have enought amythest. I say; I could never have enough amythes my dear. He purchased a green amythest. Beautiful Ring. He has the best taste in jewelry. I must say. i TRAINED HIM WELL!! I love your 15 list.… Read more »

13 years ago

I make sure my wife is taken care of. I can see how many men don’t buy their wives the finer things in life, but my wife is well taken care of that’s for sure.

13 years ago

You hit all the biggies Calla! I had a good time reading your post then fondling the white gold bracelet my husband gave me for our 20th anniversary. He’s a keeper!

Dr. Lynn K. Jones
13 years ago

Great blog post, Calla. I think I lot of our guys are genuinely intimidated for all the reasons you name. Now they know they don’t have to be!

Daniel Zia
13 years ago

I think the biggest thing holding men back from buying jewelery is their lack of knowledge of the product as you suggested in #13. That being said I think Calla is doing an excellent job of educating the consumer especially through this Santa Barbara Jewelery blog which is a great resource. Thanks Calla!

Brian Perkins
13 years ago

Ha, great post Calla! Both funny and true. I think you really hit the nail on the head here and have provided a lot of great information. Good for a guy like me to read!

Melissa V.
Melissa V.
13 years ago

Calla, just look at the conversation you’ve ignited here! You really are my blogging hero. I love that people are sharing stories, and that some spouses are chiming in to give you really valuable ‘market research’ – that your markEDing is working wonders!

David T.C.
David T.C.
13 years ago

Your website is awesome. This blog post in particular was entertaining AND informative, often hard to make work out, but extremely efficient once it has been. That being said, it has been!
David the surrogate

12 years ago

I have done all of the above & so far it’s still been 17yr’s since he’s last bought me jewerly, I’ve given up. He has no problem buying anything for himself though. Btw we have been married for 18 yr’s.

12 years ago

I would have to differ with you on number 6. It is absolutely frivolous and unnecessary. Your belief that it “symbolizes undying love” is both shallow and wrong. My wife has a large jewelry stand full of jewelry from old boyfriends, “love” that has long since died. You want a symbol of undying love? Those have to be created from 2 people’s experiences together and renewed daily. Senselessly dropping cash on precious metals and stones that people are dying and being enslaved to dig out of the earth doesn’t create a symbol of undying love. There is truly only one… Read more »