Why Your Fiance Should Be Part of Her Engagement Ring Design Process

Bride and Groom's rings

Her Wedding Rings are the Most Important Jewelry She’ll Ever Wear

Why Your Wife-to-Be Should be Part of the Engagement Ring Design Process

Guys have you felt a bit nuts trying to guess which engagement ring design details your fiancé will like the best?

You’re right to worry about it. Not only will this ring be the most important piece of jewelry she’ll ever own, it symbolizes your love for her. So why not let her participate in the design process?

Just like you wouldn’t think of buying her a pair of pants, unless you’re psychic, chances are good you won’t easily be able to pick out her ideal ring.

“But I’m the Man! Aren’t I Required by Law to Pick Her Ring?”
Tiffany Setting for Diamond

Set Your Diamond Simply so She Has Something to Show She’s Engaged

But you say, “I want to surprise her!” Not a problem. Here’s this Santa Barbara Jewelry Designer’s advice on what you do. Propose to her with the center diamond you’ve chosen set in a simple four or six prong, thin band setting.

Tell her that you want her wedding ring to be something special that she’ll love forever. Explain that you want her to be part of the process of designing the ring that represents your mutual love.

Why You’re Such a Awesome Guy for Including Her

You two are getting married. Cool. You’re going to be a team and decide things together about your wonderful life together.

Black Rhodium on Hand Engraved Engagement Ring

This Ring Has Awesome Popping Details Because His Fiance Envisioned it

Show her that her opinion matters, that you, the man, are going to consult her and listen to her. Let me tell you there is nothing more manly than a guy who is strong enough to listen.

Do Your Homework and Find a Great Jeweler

A while back I wrote a blog about choosing the right Jeweler for you. Check this out to  help with that process: “Twelve Questions to Ask Yourself When Choosing a Jeweler.”

Once you’ve found your Jeweler and chosen the center diamond for the proposal, you’ve done the heavy lifting.

White Gold Engagement ring with Halo

This Design Incorporates her Grandmother’s Diamond and a Halo of Tiny Surrounding Diamonds. She loved designing her dream ring.

Once you’ve proposed to her successfully, take her to your favorite Jewelry Designer and let them design the ring of her dreams. Note to guys: bring a book. They may be a while.

In case you are curious about the design steps, check them out here: “The Sixteen Steps to Your Custom Design.”

Now Why Did You Do it This Way?

Because you are the man! Believe me, you’ll end up smelling like a rose. You’ll be a hero. And she will have a ring she loves to wear and a great story to tell.

Calla Gold

About Calla Gold

Calla Gold is a Personal Jeweler and Author who takes pride in working with clients one-on-one to integrate their personal sense of style and taste into custom designed jewelry and repaired jewelry pieces.   Unlike typical Santa Barbara jewelry businesses, Calla Gold has no brick-and-mortar location. Calla Gold comes to you, bringing you the jewelry collection you want to see and collaborating with you to create unique custom jewelry. Calla also works with at-a-distance clients.


  1. madeleine Vite on October 6, 2011 at 2:34 pm

    Its so important for a wife to be part of the engagment ring design process because the ring will be part of her life and needs to say this is her look.

    • Calla Gold on October 6, 2011 at 11:12 pm

      Madeleine, thanks for weighing in. I agree with you. Our wedding jewelry is sooooo important!
      Calla Gold

  2. wedding photographers los angeles on November 1, 2011 at 3:10 am

    Simply a smiling visitor here to share the love (:, btw outstanding design.

    • Calla Gold on November 2, 2011 at 8:00 am

      Berum, thank you for visiting! I hope your photographic education is going winningly!
      Calla Gold

  3. Jackie Ruka on November 28, 2011 at 9:18 pm

    I think the designing part is the most fun , of course it should be an “us” experience when designing a engagement ring. Thanks Calla for sharing what men might think but do not always act on.

    • Calla Gold on November 30, 2011 at 6:28 am

      I like your phrase that designing together is an “us experience.” It really is.
      The process of designing when both members of the couple are there with me really lets me know their individual personalities.
      I find it more fun that way and the results are so wonderful when a couple has collaborated on their rings.
      They love them.
      The fact that they designed them together makes for a better story. Why you chose this or that detail. It’s a fun story to tell and has a happiness feeling to it.
      Calla Gold

  4. Alison on November 29, 2011 at 11:06 am

    I know how I would feel if my Man picked out the ring design-disappointment. What if the design is something so not me? How do you deal with this problem, when it should be joyful and exciting?-not a letdown.

    • Calla Gold on November 30, 2011 at 6:25 am

      You’ve asked an excellent question. Many men choose rings without knowing what their wife likes and when it is wearing out or just breaking a bit in ten to fifteen years I usually hear, “I don’t even really like the style that much.” Often when a ring loses a diamond or otherwise breaks is an excellent time to suggest a change.
      I have redesigned a lot of wedding rings and it’s always been such a happy experience for the wife involved.
      With assertive wives with strong, “I can take it” type of husbands I’ve suggested telling him you’d like to redesign it to better suite your lifestyle. I’ve redesigned a number of wedding rings within a year of the marriage. (Not ones I designed.)
      I hope if a woman out there is reading this and unhappy with the style of her ring she’ll call me. I know all the great justifications for ring change and they don’t hurt your husband’s feelings. He meant well no doubt.
      Calla Gold

  5. Vito Borrolli on January 8, 2012 at 6:25 am

    Truly great designing in addition to good subject matter. I’ll include my love when the time is right. You’ve left next to nothing unwritten in your steps.

    • Calla Gold on January 8, 2012 at 6:10 pm

      Thanks Vito, I’m sure your Fiance to be will be thrilled when the time comes.
      Calla Gold

  6. Wilma Barbrick on January 31, 2012 at 6:33 am

    Howdy! I’m at work browsing your blog from my new apple iphone! Just wanted to say I love reading through your blog and look forward to all your posts! Keep up the outstanding work!

    • Calla Gold on January 31, 2012 at 8:29 pm

      Thanks Wilma, come again!

  7. Hulda Debona on February 17, 2012 at 1:47 am

    Ms. Gold,
    I’ve read several good blog posts here. It is certainly worth bookmarking for revisiting. I’m surprised how much effort you put into each post. I think you have such a great informative website.
    I agree that your fiance should be a part of the design process. It’s more fun and they end up super in love with the ring that came from love and personal taste.

    • Calla Gold on February 17, 2012 at 7:30 am

      Thank you for visiting my blog and site. I appreciate your opinions!
      Calla Gold

  8. Choosing a wedding venue on May 14, 2012 at 8:09 am

    Fantastic article. I found it really insightful. I recently wrote about wedding venues in my blog.
    This post of yours on communicating with your future spouse and including her in her ring design is just great.
    Well Miss Calla Gold, I will be back to see what other interesting jewelry topics you tackle.

    • Calla Gold on May 18, 2012 at 7:12 am

      Thanks for stopping by and letting me know your thoughts.
      Calla Gold

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