Feb 23

What to do With Divorce Diamonds?

By Calla Gold

Lauren's Vintage Style Marquis Diamond Necklace

Lauren’s Vintage Style Marquis Diamond Necklace Made From a Redesigned Divorce Diamond!

Divorce Diamonds

As a Santa Barbara Jeweler, I get asked often what to do with divorce diamonds.

I say redesign with them!  You earned that diamond, regardless of how your union ended.  It shouldn’t sit in a safe or the bottom of your jewelry box.

Your diamond should be celebrated in a new way in a new setting and in a new design.  This way, you can create new memories with your new jewelry!

Five Ideas for Setting Your Divorce Diamond

1) Set it as a pendant or as part of a necklace.

2) Make it one half of a pair of diamond stud earrings.

3) Put it in a non-wedding design ring for your right hand.

4) Create a bracelet with it using the diamond in the central design

5) If your ring had several diamonds then turn each into a piece of jewelry with multiple diamonds.  Or give some little diamonds to family, like your daughter in a pendant or ring for a favorite niece.

“What do I do With the Original Ring Metal?”

Some of my clients don’t mind re-using the diamond, but don’t want to keep the ring’s setting.

You could set a colored gem in the old setting and give it to your daughter.

You could use that gold or platinum for a credit toward your new project.

Here are a couple of projects I’ve done in the past to redesign divorce diamonds.

calla-gold-jewelry-divorce-diamonds

Lauren’s old ring, and our new idea!

Real Life Divorce Diamond Redesigns

Redesigning that Divorce Diamond

Lauren loves vintage.  Her original engagement ring had a very simple and modern design to it.

She was ready to leave simple and modern in the dust in her new piece of diamond jewelry.

image of blonde woman wearing her new necklace

Lauren Wearing Her New Diamond Necklace for the First Time!

I showed Lauren a number of style options and this art nouveau style captured her heart.

I modified this design to accommodate her diamond. This design nicely worked to combine her love of curlicues, a feminine touch and art nouveau detail.

We used two different styles of chain that were simple yet went well with our vintage theme. Happily I found tiny baroque shape fresh water pearls.

I feel like the right pearls make a huge difference in a custom design like this. Too big and it overpowers little details and too small and it looks like a failed afterthought.

Lauren is a singer. What made me so happy is that I delivered it on a day she’d be singing and I loved that she planned to wear it happily to her gig.

The finished necklace is up at the top of the post.

This Pendent was Created From a Simple Engagement Ring.

This Pendent was Created From a Simple Engagement Ring.

A Sensuous Pendant From a Simple Engagement Ring

Back before I took before and after pictures, I did do redesigning of jewelry. I found this picture of a redesigned engagement ring. I remember we wanted to create a flowing and beautiful pendant. I loved how it turned out.

Laura’s Break Out Ring

She was browsing Facebook and saw a ring on a friend’s Facebook page that just stopped her in her tracks. She’d been looking for a design for her divorce diamond in her town and surrounds for months. Her new design had to reflect her new

Laura's Black Rhodium Finished Right Hand Diamond and Ruby Ring

Laura’s Black Rhodium Finished Right Hand Diamond and Ruby Ring

direction, her new strength and new energy.

Laura has 1truvoice a divorced, divorcing or thinking about divorcing  life coaching practice. Who better to help that conversation yield helpful insights than someone who has lived it up close and personal?

The ring she saw on Facebook was one of my trinity collection styles. She clicked all the right buttons, because even though she was in Fresno she found my page, then my website and then called me.

A Close Up of the Detail Laura Lavished in Her Vision of the Design

A Close Up of the Detail Laura Lavished in Her Vision of the Design

We connected over the distance and she decided to drive down for the design process, translating what she loved online to her diamond.

We had a blast and stayed in touch via email. When she drove down to pick up her ring it was an emotional experience. Laura felt that her diamond was truly hers and the style reflected her fierce fabulous self. (My adjectives). I love that she did this for herself and went so out of the box in the details she picked for herself.

“Can I Use my Divorce Diamond in a Ring Again?”

Susan called me a couple of years after her divorce. She told me that, “after 25 years of marriage he wanted the ring back! Can you imagine? Embarrassingly enough, I considered it, because I wasn’t feeling too friendly toward it at the time.”

Happily, she kept the ring. Her diamond was beautiful.  After two years she looked at the diamond differently. She wanted it to be a right hand ring, but she wasn’t sure if that was something that was done.

Here's a Design That Could Easily take a Divorce Diamond.

Here’s a Design That Could Easily take a Divorce Diamond.

I feel strongly that re-using a divorce diamond as a right hand ring is perfectly fine. The most important thing is that you use it! Just use it! Beautifully redesigned of course.

Susan’s ring turned out beautifully. I told you her story because I want to say that the wedding diamond is yours. It was a gift and it doesn’t have to hold memories good or bad. It’s beautiful and sparkling and should be worn with a smile.

“Can I use my Divorce Diamond in my Next Wedding Ring?”

Now we get into an area where some people feel that “you can’t do that.” I do not agree. If you’re worried about bad karma, bad juju or bad energy you can do something about it.

My Healer, Scultptor Friend Francis is Big on Burning Sage to Cleanse a Diamond.

My Healer, Scultptor Friend Francis is Big on Burning Sage to Cleanse a Diamond.

One of my clients is a very spiritual person and a self-described energy worker. She recommended soaking the diamond in sea salt water for a day and a night or burning sage around it.

I’m thinking that all the time it spends in my ultrasonic cleaner getting vibrated clean would bring it back to neutral, but I guess that’s why I’m a jewelry worker and not an energy worker.

As long as your new husband is OK with it, then it’s OK. Many people don’t go there, but I thought since we’re talking about what to do with divorce diamonds that I’d include this.

Circle with line through it over heart

Love Bummer. Don’t Re-Use the Same Ring for Two Different Marriages

“What if I just Re-Use My Divorce Diamond and Old Setting  For My Next Wedding?”

No one has asked me yet, but I’ll just say, “never get married to the new guy with the old guy’s ring.” Take the diamond and create a new design and a new look if you want to do this.

Do You Have a Divorce Diamonds Sitting Unworn in Your Jewelry Box?

OK here’s my motto, “Wear it Don’t Warehouse it!” Pull out that ring and make an appointment with your favorite jeweler and make a piece of jewelry that is you! You in a sparkly happy diamond!

Setting Your Divorce Diamonds Free,
Calla Gold

8 thoughts on “What to do With Divorce Diamonds?

  1. I really like how you broach this topic. It’s got to be an etiquette hot potato. You gave your opinion in simple, non-judgmental terms. Really great ideas, too.

    • Hello Amy,
      You are so right. I was thinking etiquette all the way. There are so many ideas floating around out there that can stop a person from letting go of the feeling that because they aren’t with the man that gave them the diamond that it has to become like a fly in amber, forever trapped in their jewelry box and untouchable.
      What caused me to write this was a series of divorce diamond re-designs. I’d say especially Laura’s project. She is a life coach and really went through a process of redefining who she was once she was away from her marriage and who she had chosen to be to make her husband happy.
      I am a wife as well as a jeweler and I understand how we act a certain way to please our mate. That’s fine if we like who we are with that mate, but people change, we change, and what our mate wants and who we are sometimes just get too far apart.
      Laura found out who she really wanted to be. And that is a stronger fiercer person than who she acted like when married. Hearing her story was emotional. For Laura deciding to reset her diamond was cathartic. That ring now represents the new her. She looks at it and sees a choice made and a new direction. I got teary eyed when she told me about her process. It’s inspiring when people make changes.
      Changing your jewelry can be very powerful and meaningful.
      That is why I wrote this, to break down the walls of that idea that we can’t use our divorce diamond, or we can’t change it, or we need to save it for the kids. Nope, you gotta own it first, just you!
      Wow Amy, you really got me going! As you can tell I really loved writing this post!
      Your Personal Jeweler,
      Calla

  2. Thank you for addressing this subject. I have divorced diamonds and want to reset them so they don’t appear in the same setting they were given. I have a pair of earrings and necklace pendant that I really like, but have thought of making those into a right hand ring or a new necklace. As for the engagement ring and wrap I have…well, they aren’t the best quality, and I have thought of trying to upgrade them for a new project. I, too, was curious about what to do with the gold bands so thank you for the tips. You’ve got my creative thoughts flowing now, and I’m going to have to find a great jewelry designer. Too bad you’re on the West Coast. 😉

    • Hi Kathryn,
      Thank you for writing about your plans. I’m very pleased that that old wedding set won’t sit unworn and un-repurposed. My motto is “wear it don’t warehouse it!” And your plans typify acting on that motto. I hope you find a creative designer in your area. It is wonderful to work with someone who is used to the redesigning challenge.
      If you are unable to find anyone with the flair you seek I do work long distance with design clients. Here’s a post I wrote about a long distance design project with Ralph:
      https://www.callagold.com/santa-barbara-jeweler/can-you-design-long-distance-ralphs-ring-story/
      May your new jewelry suit you perfectly!
      Your Personal Jeweler,
      Calla

  3. I appreciate the lovely ideas for re-purposing old wedding jewelry. Actually,there could be more rings than just the wedding rings that could need to be re-designed and then enjoyed! Thank you sharing your creative design ideas.

    • Hello Judith,
      You are of course right. I have re-purposed all kinds of rings, from wedding rings to inherited rings. Actually I re-design a lot of wedding rings for women who are still married but want a change. Since I had specific divorce diamond projects to share I focused on those. I had a client with a divorce diamond who suggested I do a blog of this topic and it’s been kicking around in my head and when I did the project for Lauren I knew, “it’s time!” Because her project was so much fun. And as I was getting together pictures I finished Laura’s ring and asked her permission to share and she said “yes!”
      I get a lot of help and encouragement from my clients about what to blog about. This was client helped all the way!
      Your Personal Jeweler,
      Calla

  4. I figure don’t ask, don’t tell. If I show up with a lovely new ring, I don’t owe an explanation to anyone. Yes, it’s real, why do you ask?

    • Dear Carol,
      Good one. Just show up with a beautiful diamond ring. Who’d be rude enough to ask where the diamond came from or even think about it.
      I like your spunk!
      Your Personal Jeweler,
      Calla

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