Dear Calla, Why Can’t I (a Man) Wear an Engagement Ring?

Dear Calla,

I’m a waiter at a nice sea food restaurant. I like my job and the tips. I’m saving up for my upcoming wedding. To make a short story long, the hostess is the sister of my manager. I’m up for a promotion to head waiter and I’m already doing the schedules, but don’t yet have the title. The hostess who my wife and I refer to as the lizard woman because she wore these scaly green shoes the day this happened asked me to help her with something in the coat closet. She grabbed me from behind, turned me around and kissed me. I was so shocked that it took a minute for me to disengage.

She knows I’m engaged and uses any excuse to get next to me and bump her hip against mine. Seriously I will get to my question soon. I’m worried that if I just shut her down verbally that she’ll complain to her brother my manager and I may lose my promotion or possibly my job.

I told my fiance who is so upset she wants me to quit, but we need the money for the wedding. And I like my job. So here’s my question. Can guys wear their wedding bands while engaged or is that too weird? I’m hoping it will deter this hostess.

– Ringless and Stalked

girl proposing to her boyfriend

My client Elyse recently proposed to her man and he’s happily wearing his mangagement ring.

Dear Stalked,

Well, that is a new one. For the record, you definitely may wear your ring while engaged. It’s called a mangagement ring and it is a thing.

The only thing is this hostess. If you’ve already told her you’re engaged and she hasn’t let up then I can’t guarantee that the wedding ring will put her off. Let’s hope!

Years ago when my husband was a waiter and there was a hostess who just went after the married fellas. This made me a bit uncomfortable, but I trust him so it became a joke. I’d greet him with a “Oh, you came home!” and he’d respond with a “Yes I managed to resist her for another day!”

Eventually, she moved on and we made up new jokes.

May you have a long and happy marriage.

Your Personal Jeweler,

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About Calla Gold

Calla Gold is a Personal Jeweler and Author who takes pride in working with clients one-on-one to integrate their personal sense of style and taste into custom designed jewelry and repaired jewelry pieces.   Unlike typical Santa Barbara jewelry businesses, Calla Gold has no brick-and-mortar location. Calla Gold comes to you, bringing you the jewelry collection you want to see and collaborating with you to create unique custom jewelry. Calla also works with at-a-distance clients.

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