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Mar.

“My Husband Never Buys Me Jewelry” – The Fifteen Reasons Men Don’t Buy Jewelry for Women

By Calla Gold

Thinking Man

"Me? Buy Jewelry?"

Full Disclosure

Jeremy, my husband, added all the “dudes” and all the funny stuff. I’m leaving it in!

I Really Wanted to Know Why the Guy’s Were Shying Away From Buying Jewelry

I don’t know about other parts of the world, but for this Santa Barbara Jeweler the title of this blog is a common lament among  Santa Barbara women. “Guys! Why don’t you buy your sweeties jewelry?”

To be fair, some of you do. I know. I’ve sold it to you—and to some, multiple times. Way to go, Dudes!

Over the years I’ve compiled a mental list of excuses from men for why they don’t buy women jewelry. Want to hear some? Here goes.

Fifteen Reasons Men Don’t Buy Jewelry for Women

  1. “I have no idea what my wife likes.” Dude! Talk to the woman… or talk to her best friend or talk to her Jeweler!
  2. “She never asks for jewelry.” See #1.
  3. “The last time I bought her something she exchanged it for something else.” So you give up that easily? Don’t wimp out, man!
  4. “Jewelry is too expensive.” My son bought his girlfriend a very nice sterling silver necklace for thirty bucks. You don’t have to get her the Hope diamond.
  5. “She complained about how much it cost.” But secretly loved it. Acknowledge her and move on. She’s wearing it isn’t she?
  6. “Jewelry is frivolous. It’s unnecessary.” Something that symbolizes undying love is not frivolous.
  7. “She buys her own jewelry. Why should I?” Because she wants you to, Doofus! It’s a gift; a present. Girls like to be surprised. They dream about being given meaningful gifts from loved ones and telling their friends it’s from you.
  8. “She buys her own clothes. What’s the difference?” See #7
  9. “I always get her something for the home.” I don’t care what she says, the last thing she wants for her anniversary is a toaster. There is nothing more tacky than giving the love of your life a toaster or a couch to commemorate your marriage.
  10. “She has a bunch of jewelry she never wears. The last thing she needs is another ring or pair of earrings.” First of all, 80% of the stuff is probably out of date, broken, and can’t be worn. Secondly, a woman can never have too much jewelry. Period. And again, see #7.
  11. “It simply never occurred to me.” Well…now you know!
  12. “I bought her a wedding ring. I’m done. Right?” Not even, Dude!
  13. “I know nothing about jewelry. How do I know I’m not getting ripped off?” Read reviews on the internet; ask co-workers; ask a couple of jewelry lovers; ask your wife! Ask me! Clients refer people to Calla Gold Jewelry all the time.
  14. “I have no idea where to buy jewelry. How do I know I can trust them?” See #13
  15. “Everybody gets jewelry. I want to do something different.” That’s fine. Do something different. I love doing different things! Take her to Hawaii or rafting down the Colorado. Ride bikes across Europe. In the middle of the trip, though…surprise her with a piece jewelry. Now she’ll always be reminded of that something different that you so thoughtfully dreamed up.

Girls, in case your guy happens to fit into one or more of these categories (or one I haven’t mentioned), show him this blog post.

What You Can Do About it
(Guys you can stop reading now, this part is for the ladies)

Let him know you love him and he can actually buy jewelry for you. Hopefully, he’ll take the hint!

Surprisingly Enough Guys Are Not Psychic, Talk to Him

Sealed Envelope with Red Wax

Top Secret Jewelry Wish List

Make it  easy for him. Make a jewelry wish list and keep it current. Then, you can tell him that secret agent Calla Gold has the encrypted “loved-jewelry” document under lock and key. All he has to do is call Calla Gold Jewelry Headquarters at and your classified jewelry dreams will be revealed. Or insert your Jeweler’s name to the scenario.

What’s the Takeaway Message Here?

If he’s not giving you jewelry now, change what you’re doing. Stop waiting, stop hinting, just say what you really want. Make it happen.

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34 Responses to ““My Husband Never Buys Me Jewelry” – The Fifteen Reasons Men Don’t Buy Jewelry for Women”

Jacquelin Daugherty March 21st, 2011 at 11:26 pm


Hello Calla,
Great reason. I have a mother in law who my husbands father never buys her one piece of jewelry in 25 years. OMG
I could not marryy a man like that.
I took time to educate my husband. Like;when we were looking a diamonds. He knows colors, The 3 Cs.
I love amythest. He always says to me; you have enought amythest. I say; I could never have enough amythes my dear. He purchased a green amythest. Beautiful Ring. He has the best taste in jewelry. I must say. i TRAINED HIM WELL!!
I love your 15 list. I do not need diamonds. Just one carot amethyst would look nice. I will wait till our ten year Annv. Maybe if alll our money
is in order. I would love a 3 stone – Past, present,future ring. He knows what a 3 stone P ring means.
Love it.
Thank you for the list. THis is my first time to your web sight.
I see you have estate jewelry. I am in the mood to change my style. I will check out what you have.
Thanks again
JD

Calla Gold March 22nd, 2011 at 12:00 am


Jacquelin,
I’d like to validate you on what you did right. You communicated to your husband and let him know what you like in jewelry and you let him know it’s important to you. Well done! You are a shining example. You also talk about what great taste he has in his choices for you. Other women should definitely let their men know how thrilled they are. If a guy is a hero with his jewelry gift for you, he’ll do it again!
Calla

Jeremy March 22nd, 2011 at 7:43 pm


I make sure my wife is taken care of. I can see how many men don’t buy their wives the finer things in life, but my wife is well taken care of that’s for sure.

Kymberly March 22nd, 2011 at 11:02 pm


You hit all the biggies Calla! I had a good time reading your post then fondling the white gold bracelet my husband gave me for our 20th anniversary. He’s a keeper!

Calla Gold March 22nd, 2011 at 11:21 pm


Kymberly, I’m thrilled to hear that your man knows how to remind you that you are loved and celebrated.
And it sounds like Jeremy knows how to be a good husband too. Way to go!

Dr. Lynn K. Jones March 24th, 2011 at 2:38 am


Great blog post, Calla. I think I lot of our guys are genuinely intimidated for all the reasons you name. Now they know they don’t have to be!

Daniel Zia March 25th, 2011 at 5:09 am


I think the biggest thing holding men back from buying jewelery is their lack of knowledge of the product as you suggested in #13. That being said I think Calla is doing an excellent job of educating the consumer especially through this Santa Barbara Jewelery blog which is a great resource. Thanks Calla!

Brian Perkins March 25th, 2011 at 8:20 am


Ha, great post Calla! Both funny and true. I think you really hit the nail on the head here and have provided a lot of great information. Good for a guy like me to read!

Calla Gold March 25th, 2011 at 1:15 pm


Daniel and Brian, I am so delighted to get your male viewpoint feedback. This was one of those posts that was a long time in coming. I feel like a sociologist with my questions and listening to the attitudes. I think my favorite thing to discover was after asking why men don’t buy, then I’d liken jewelry to tools, cars, and guns and whatnot and say jewelry is like that for women. And a number of guys were like, well jeez why didn’t she just say so? Or I just don’t get why it matters. And I tell them what it symbolizes and they’d be like. Yeah, I guess I’m down with giving a “gift of love.” I just didn’t want to get her jewelry. But a gift of love, well that’s cool, cuz I’m a romantic guy. ~ Calla

Melissa V. March 27th, 2011 at 10:20 pm


Calla, just look at the conversation you’ve ignited here! You really are my blogging hero. I love that people are sharing stories, and that some spouses are chiming in to give you really valuable ‘market research’ – that your markEDing is working wonders!

Calla Gold March 27th, 2011 at 11:30 pm


Melissa, I am beyond pleased at the conversation this has stirred up. It’s so exciting and educating for me too. Thank you for your kind words, you really put in perspective how valuable this feedback really is. I’m especially pleased to hear from the guys!

David T.C. March 31st, 2011 at 2:55 am


Calla,
Your website is awesome. This blog post in particular was entertaining AND informative, often hard to make work out, but extremely efficient once it has been. That being said, it has been!
Thanks!
David the surrogate

Calla Gold March 31st, 2011 at 3:25 am


David, I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that you worked out what she liked in the jewelry department and successfully procured said item and successfully had it received. I’m betting she was really really pleased! Just guessin’ here!
Calla the surrogate Mom

toni December 5th, 2011 at 2:34 pm


I have done all of the above & so far it’s still been 17yr’s since he’s last bought me jewerly, I’ve given up. He has no problem buying anything for himself though. Btw we have been married for 18 yr’s.

Calla Gold December 5th, 2011 at 3:08 pm


Toni,
I’ve had a couple conversations with husbands and they say, “I got her a wedding ring, I’m done.” I beg to differ and diplomatically say so. I liken jewelry for her to tool or guns to him. Sometimes that works.
Shall I personally send him a copy of “My Husband Never Buys Me Jewelry?”
Do you have a wish list ready at your favorite Jewelers?
Calla Gold

Gary February 2nd, 2012 at 9:45 am


I would have to differ with you on number 6. It is absolutely frivolous and unnecessary. Your belief that it “symbolizes undying love” is both shallow and wrong. My wife has a large jewelry stand full of jewelry from old boyfriends, “love” that has long since died. You want a symbol of undying love? Those have to be created from 2 people’s experiences together and renewed daily. Senselessly dropping cash on precious metals and stones that people are dying and being enslaved to dig out of the earth doesn’t create a symbol of undying love. There is truly only one reason to buy jewelry and it is the only reason I do it. Because it makes my wife happy and I like making her happy. The rest of it is just rationalization of dropping money frivolously on an unnecessary item.

Calla Gold February 2nd, 2012 at 12:20 pm


Gary,
Thank you sharing your viewpoint. I hope you realize I’d be drummed out of the corps of Jewelers the world over if I didn’t think that a jewelry gift symbolized undying love. And I’m a huge romantic. So I’ll stand by #6, but I am happy to have the opposing viewpoint on it from you. I do see your point.
Gary I love that you buy your wife jewelry and it makes her happy. You sound like a great husband and a Philosopher too.
Calla Gold

steph May 10th, 2012 at 12:42 pm


I picked out the ring, gave him the number, told him exactly where in the jewelery store, even told him id buy it for myself if he didnt buy it for me. he bought me a lawn chair… does that mean he wants to piss me off???

Calla Gold May 10th, 2012 at 8:24 pm


Steph,
You totally led that horse to water. Dang, I guess he just can’t get over his “practical lovin’ gift giving from hell” side of himself.
If you lived in my town, we’d pick the perfect jewelry gift for you, charge it to his credit card, put it in a pretty box and have you take it to him.
Then hand it to him and say, “Hand this to me babe.”
He does, you open it up and ooh and ahh, and hug and kiss him and thank him for such a great gift. Make a big fuss. Make him a hero. Maybe he’ll get the clue.
If not, at least you got it from him! In your own way!!
Calla Gold

Calla Gold May 26th, 2012 at 9:35 am


Steuer,
I’m glad you enjoyed the enjoyed the 15 reasons Why Men Don’t Buy Jewelry for Women. I’m guessing you are not among the guys who looked at this and said, “Oh goody more excuses I can use to dodge buying jewelry for my gal.” Seriously, I deleted a comment from a guy who said that.
I’ll be happy to email you.
Your Personal Jeweler,
Calla

anonymously me May 12th, 2013 at 2:11 pm


Why should I buy her something? She wants fine things? She can start working (no wonder i’ll never get married). Yes I’m a selfish, self-absorbed prick and I love every single bit of it.
Ahhh yes… jewelry… I have some. I work so damn hard for it. She wants a ring, well she better work… after all, I never heard of girls “giving” me jewelry for a present.
She wants a fine jewelry, she better start getting me some and she’ll get finer things in return.

Calla Gold May 13th, 2013 at 8:07 pm


Hmmm,
I see why you are anonymous.
C

Nancy June 22nd, 2013 at 12:23 am


Funny, sort of. My hubby used to buy me jewelry. He loved romantic surprises. Over the past 5 years he has changed. I get electronics. For our tenth anniversary, I told him something romantic would make me happy. I told him when he asked that the last thing I wanted was anything related to electronics and especially Not a camera.

Guess what I got? A camera.
So my decision is to take some outdated jewelry and have it redesigned .
That is my gift to myself.

Calla Gold June 22nd, 2013 at 7:36 am


Nancy,
I’m sorry to hear your man isn’t hearing ‘romantic gift.” I know how that is. One year I got a vacuum, no joke. I really needed one, but still. I told him I was giving him a pass this year because he’s a student and we’re scraping it, but no more gifts for ‘us’ or the house and calling it for me.
Another year I got this enormous coat from LL Bean in a funky mustard color. The arms went about six inches below my hands. I felt like I should channel my inner Alaskan hunter in this thing. Not a winning gift.
But not to just sing his mistakes, I’ve gotten cool stuff too. (And a camera! Ha!)
He could easily tell you of the gift I gave him I’ll never live down. We were young and poor and I found this dirty enamel teapot/kettle at a yard sale. I know enamel cleans up. So I bought it and used oven cleaner and it looked like new. I swished water around inside it to make sure it was fresh.
So he opened it and was like, “hey I could use this. Thanks babe.” Then he went to fill it up with water in bright light and when he looked inside it was all rusted. OOoops!
Hoping You Get a Romantic Gift Sometime,
Calla Gold

Lisa B August 19th, 2013 at 8:14 am


Calla,
I’m not the opposite end of the spectrum. I LOVE gadgets. I’m not moved by jewelry. Every now and then I’ll see a piece that I like, but my tastes fluctuate greatly and beyond my wedding ring, I don’t really desire expensive jewelry. I am THRILLED to receive however, the latest kitchen gadget or electronic. Things that I see and want, but never want to spend money on. Those are the things on my wishlist and so those are the things I want to unwrap. Still, no matter how many hints and/or requests I drop, I inevitably receive a ring or a necklace for EVERY holiday. I asked for a Mac Book Pro for my 10th anniversary and instead received a gold necklace of equal value. I would never return it because of what it symbolizes, but before I opened it he literally said, “I know it’s not what you would have wanted, but it’s what I wanted you to have.”
On one hand I think that is super-sweet…on another, I think it’s extremely selfish, considering that I got him the thing he’s been wanting for years: an expensive flamenco guitar. He would have been so upset if I have him a watch or a ring instead because it’s what I wanted him to have. I’m rambling, but it’s been really bothering me and your list made me realize that women are EXPECTED to like jewelery because jewelers and other women often tell me that jewelry is the ultimate gift.
Gadget not jewelry lovin’ gal

Calla Gold August 19th, 2013 at 8:36 pm


Lisa B.
You crack me up. And I’m sorry that your man isn’t listening. I have one quote for him…
When you like someone give them something you like, (it shares you with them)
When you love someone give them something they love (even if it does nothing for them. It shows your regard for them and their interests)
Thanks for sharing Lisa. I like gadgets too, but I need my bling!

Tracey D February 4th, 2014 at 10:48 am


This just so cracked me up. I have friends who’s husband’s don’t get them jewelry and it’s a bit painful. My honey gives me jewelry and I love each piece. It has memories and the feel of love.
I’m happy my man isn’t that guy!

Calla Gold February 4th, 2014 at 9:39 pm


Hi Tracey,
I’m so pleased that your guy is such a good guy! I’m pleased to have amused you with the fifteen reasons men don’t buy jewelry for women.
Your Personal Jeweler,
Calla

raul March 24th, 2014 at 10:02 am


I simply don’t understand how some people think jewelry can buy love. It is just and invention of capitalism. Poor ignorants who consider jewelry as something worthy.

Calla Gold March 24th, 2014 at 4:59 pm


Hello Raul,
I’m saddened that you see this as some sort of capitalist plot to fleece the masses or something. I work hard so I can reach my goals in life.
Celebrating my family, my marriage and people I love is a reward to me. I am thankful that I can buy a jewelry gift here and there to remind someone I love of a special moment, like graduation or a special birthday. Flowers will wilt, but that special pair of earrings will say I love you to someone special to me for years to come.
My husband didn’t buy me an engagement ring to buy my love but to celebrate that he chose me and we’re going to have a great life together. I love him and I love my ring from him.
Calla Gold

Julia April 1st, 2014 at 12:35 am


How can I let a guy know that I would love jewelry? A guy I’ve been dating for a few months…

Calla Gold April 1st, 2014 at 8:22 pm


Hi Julia,
The next time you break a piece of jewelry, have him go with you into your favorite jewelry store, hopefully one where you have a special person who works there who knows you and has a write up of your favorite things.
Go there when he or she is at the store and ready for you. They can be conversational with him and ask for his contact info. They’ll already know your birthday. While you’re there chatting and having fun, try on a few pairs of earrings and maybe a bracelet.
Let him know how much fun you’re having and how you love jewelry. Then have his new jewelry store friend follow up and suggest he come in without you to see some pieces you have admired.
Good luck Julia!
Your Personal Jeweler,
Calla

Lisa May 27th, 2014 at 9:16 pm


So my fiancé even drew me a photo of a necklace he gave his ex wife when they were married. But why not give me jewelry? I’ve hinted that I would love some. But nothing.

Calla Gold May 28th, 2014 at 6:06 am


Wow Lisa, that’s kind of rough. Maybe he needs a totally totally for sure for sure hint. Like “I really love this…” and don’t say necklace, “pair of earrings” or something. Give him a picture in his email, tell him what store it is at. Tell him how romantic a gift of jewelry is and how it’ll remind you of him whenever you wear it.
Good luck!
Calla Gold

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