21

Mar.

“My Husband Never Buys Me Jewelry” – The Fifteen Reasons Men Don’t Buy Jewelry for Women

By Calla Gold

Thinking Man

"Me? Buy Jewelry?"

Full Disclosure

Jeremy, my husband, added all the “dudes” and all the funny stuff. I’m leaving it in!

I Really Wanted to Know Why the Guy’s Were Shying Away From Buying Jewelry

I don’t know about other parts of the world, but for this Santa Barbara Jeweler the title of this blog is a common lament among  Santa Barbara women. “Guys! Why don’t you buy your sweeties jewelry?”

To be fair, some of you do. I know. I’ve sold it to you—and to some, multiple times. Way to go, Dudes!

Over the years I’ve compiled a mental list of excuses from men for why they don’t buy women jewelry. Want to hear some? Here goes.

Fifteen Reasons Men Don’t Buy Jewelry for Women

  1. “I have no idea what my wife likes.” Dude! Talk to the woman… or talk to her best friend or talk to her Jeweler!
  2. “She never asks for jewelry.” See #1.
  3. “The last time I bought her something she exchanged it for something else.” So you give up that easily? Don’t wimp out, man!
  4. “Jewelry is too expensive.” My son bought his girlfriend a very nice sterling silver necklace for thirty bucks. You don’t have to get her the Hope diamond.
  5. “She complained about how much it cost.” But secretly loved it. Acknowledge her and move on. She’s wearing it isn’t she?
  6. “Jewelry is frivolous. It’s unnecessary.” Something that symbolizes undying love is not frivolous.
  7. “She buys her own jewelry. Why should I?” Because she wants you to, Doofus! It’s a gift; a present. Girls like to be surprised. They dream about being given meaningful gifts from loved ones and telling their friends it’s from you.
  8. “She buys her own clothes. What’s the difference?” See #7
  9. “I always get her something for the home.” I don’t care what she says, the last thing she wants for her anniversary is a toaster. There is nothing more tacky than giving the love of your life a toaster or a couch to commemorate your marriage.
  10. “She has a bunch of jewelry she never wears. The last thing she needs is another ring or pair of earrings.” First of all, 80% of the stuff is probably out of date, broken, and can’t be worn. Secondly, a woman can never have too much jewelry. Period. And again, see #7.
  11. “It simply never occurred to me.” Well…now you know!
  12. “I bought her a wedding ring. I’m done. Right?” Not even, Dude!
  13. “I know nothing about jewelry. How do I know I’m not getting ripped off?” Read reviews on the internet; ask co-workers; ask a couple of jewelry lovers; ask your wife! Ask me! Clients refer people to Calla Gold Jewelry all the time.
  14. “I have no idea where to buy jewelry. How do I know I can trust them?” See #13
  15. “Everybody gets jewelry. I want to do something different.” That’s fine. Do something different. I love doing different things! Take her to Hawaii or rafting down the Colorado. Ride bikes across Europe. In the middle of the trip, though…surprise her with a piece jewelry. Now she’ll always be reminded of that something different that you so thoughtfully dreamed up.

Girls, in case your guy happens to fit into one or more of these categories (or one I haven’t mentioned), show him this blog post.

What You Can Do About it
(Guys you can stop reading now, this part is for the ladies)

Let him know you love him and he can actually buy jewelry for you. Hopefully, he’ll take the hint!

Surprisingly Enough Guys Are Not Psychic, Talk to Him

Sealed Envelope with Red Wax

Top Secret Jewelry Wish List

Make it  easy for him. Make a jewelry wish list and keep it current. Then, you can tell him that secret agent Calla Gold has the encrypted “loved-jewelry” document under lock and key. All he has to do is call Calla Gold Jewelry Headquarters at and your classified jewelry dreams will be revealed. Or insert your Jeweler’s name to the scenario.

What’s the Takeaway Message Here?

If he’s not giving you jewelry now, change what you’re doing. Stop waiting, stop hinting, just say what you really want. Make it happen.

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52 Responses to ““My Husband Never Buys Me Jewelry” – The Fifteen Reasons Men Don’t Buy Jewelry for Women”

Jacquelin Daugherty March 21st, 2011 at 11:26 pm


Hello Calla,
Great reason. I have a mother in law who my husbands father never buys her one piece of jewelry in 25 years. OMG
I could not marryy a man like that.
I took time to educate my husband. Like;when we were looking a diamonds. He knows colors, The 3 Cs.
I love amythest. He always says to me; you have enought amythest. I say; I could never have enough amythes my dear. He purchased a green amythest. Beautiful Ring. He has the best taste in jewelry. I must say. i TRAINED HIM WELL!!
I love your 15 list. I do not need diamonds. Just one carot amethyst would look nice. I will wait till our ten year Annv. Maybe if alll our money
is in order. I would love a 3 stone – Past, present,future ring. He knows what a 3 stone P ring means.
Love it.
Thank you for the list. THis is my first time to your web sight.
I see you have estate jewelry. I am in the mood to change my style. I will check out what you have.
Thanks again
JD

Calla Gold March 22nd, 2011 at 12:00 am


Jacquelin,
I’d like to validate you on what you did right. You communicated to your husband and let him know what you like in jewelry and you let him know it’s important to you. Well done! You are a shining example. You also talk about what great taste he has in his choices for you. Other women should definitely let their men know how thrilled they are. If a guy is a hero with his jewelry gift for you, he’ll do it again!
Calla

Jeremy March 22nd, 2011 at 7:43 pm


I make sure my wife is taken care of. I can see how many men don’t buy their wives the finer things in life, but my wife is well taken care of that’s for sure.

Kymberly March 22nd, 2011 at 11:02 pm


You hit all the biggies Calla! I had a good time reading your post then fondling the white gold bracelet my husband gave me for our 20th anniversary. He’s a keeper!

Calla Gold March 22nd, 2011 at 11:21 pm


Kymberly, I’m thrilled to hear that your man knows how to remind you that you are loved and celebrated.
And it sounds like Jeremy knows how to be a good husband too. Way to go!

Dr. Lynn K. Jones March 24th, 2011 at 2:38 am


Great blog post, Calla. I think I lot of our guys are genuinely intimidated for all the reasons you name. Now they know they don’t have to be!

Daniel Zia March 25th, 2011 at 5:09 am


I think the biggest thing holding men back from buying jewelery is their lack of knowledge of the product as you suggested in #13. That being said I think Calla is doing an excellent job of educating the consumer especially through this Santa Barbara Jewelery blog which is a great resource. Thanks Calla!

Brian Perkins March 25th, 2011 at 8:20 am


Ha, great post Calla! Both funny and true. I think you really hit the nail on the head here and have provided a lot of great information. Good for a guy like me to read!

Calla Gold March 25th, 2011 at 1:15 pm


Daniel and Brian, I am so delighted to get your male viewpoint feedback. This was one of those posts that was a long time in coming. I feel like a sociologist with my questions and listening to the attitudes. I think my favorite thing to discover was after asking why men don’t buy, then I’d liken jewelry to tools, cars, and guns and whatnot and say jewelry is like that for women. And a number of guys were like, well jeez why didn’t she just say so? Or I just don’t get why it matters. And I tell them what it symbolizes and they’d be like. Yeah, I guess I’m down with giving a “gift of love.” I just didn’t want to get her jewelry. But a gift of love, well that’s cool, cuz I’m a romantic guy. ~ Calla

Melissa V. March 27th, 2011 at 10:20 pm


Calla, just look at the conversation you’ve ignited here! You really are my blogging hero. I love that people are sharing stories, and that some spouses are chiming in to give you really valuable ‘market research’ – that your markEDing is working wonders!

Calla Gold March 27th, 2011 at 11:30 pm


Melissa, I am beyond pleased at the conversation this has stirred up. It’s so exciting and educating for me too. Thank you for your kind words, you really put in perspective how valuable this feedback really is. I’m especially pleased to hear from the guys!

David T.C. March 31st, 2011 at 2:55 am


Calla,
Your website is awesome. This blog post in particular was entertaining AND informative, often hard to make work out, but extremely efficient once it has been. That being said, it has been!
Thanks!
David the surrogate

Calla Gold March 31st, 2011 at 3:25 am


David, I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that you worked out what she liked in the jewelry department and successfully procured said item and successfully had it received. I’m betting she was really really pleased! Just guessin’ here!
Calla the surrogate Mom

toni December 5th, 2011 at 2:34 pm


I have done all of the above & so far it’s still been 17yr’s since he’s last bought me jewerly, I’ve given up. He has no problem buying anything for himself though. Btw we have been married for 18 yr’s.

Calla Gold December 5th, 2011 at 3:08 pm


Toni,
I’ve had a couple conversations with husbands and they say, “I got her a wedding ring, I’m done.” I beg to differ and diplomatically say so. I liken jewelry for her to tool or guns to him. Sometimes that works.
Shall I personally send him a copy of “My Husband Never Buys Me Jewelry?”
Do you have a wish list ready at your favorite Jewelers?
Calla Gold

Gary February 2nd, 2012 at 9:45 am


I would have to differ with you on number 6. It is absolutely frivolous and unnecessary. Your belief that it “symbolizes undying love” is both shallow and wrong. My wife has a large jewelry stand full of jewelry from old boyfriends, “love” that has long since died. You want a symbol of undying love? Those have to be created from 2 people’s experiences together and renewed daily. Senselessly dropping cash on precious metals and stones that people are dying and being enslaved to dig out of the earth doesn’t create a symbol of undying love. There is truly only one reason to buy jewelry and it is the only reason I do it. Because it makes my wife happy and I like making her happy. The rest of it is just rationalization of dropping money frivolously on an unnecessary item.

Calla Gold February 2nd, 2012 at 12:20 pm


Gary,
Thank you sharing your viewpoint. I hope you realize I’d be drummed out of the corps of Jewelers the world over if I didn’t think that a jewelry gift symbolized undying love. And I’m a huge romantic. So I’ll stand by #6, but I am happy to have the opposing viewpoint on it from you. I do see your point.
Gary I love that you buy your wife jewelry and it makes her happy. You sound like a great husband and a Philosopher too.
Calla Gold

steph May 10th, 2012 at 12:42 pm


I picked out the ring, gave him the number, told him exactly where in the jewelery store, even told him id buy it for myself if he didnt buy it for me. he bought me a lawn chair… does that mean he wants to piss me off???

Calla Gold May 10th, 2012 at 8:24 pm


Steph,
You totally led that horse to water. Dang, I guess he just can’t get over his “practical lovin’ gift giving from hell” side of himself.
If you lived in my town, we’d pick the perfect jewelry gift for you, charge it to his credit card, put it in a pretty box and have you take it to him.
Then hand it to him and say, “Hand this to me babe.”
He does, you open it up and ooh and ahh, and hug and kiss him and thank him for such a great gift. Make a big fuss. Make him a hero. Maybe he’ll get the clue.
If not, at least you got it from him! In your own way!!
Calla Gold

Calla Gold May 26th, 2012 at 9:35 am


Steuer,
I’m glad you enjoyed the enjoyed the 15 reasons Why Men Don’t Buy Jewelry for Women. I’m guessing you are not among the guys who looked at this and said, “Oh goody more excuses I can use to dodge buying jewelry for my gal.” Seriously, I deleted a comment from a guy who said that.
I’ll be happy to email you.
Your Personal Jeweler,
Calla

anonymously me May 12th, 2013 at 2:11 pm


Why should I buy her something? She wants fine things? She can start working (no wonder i’ll never get married). Yes I’m a selfish, self-absorbed prick and I love every single bit of it.
Ahhh yes… jewelry… I have some. I work so damn hard for it. She wants a ring, well she better work… after all, I never heard of girls “giving” me jewelry for a present.
She wants a fine jewelry, she better start getting me some and she’ll get finer things in return.

Calla Gold May 13th, 2013 at 8:07 pm


Hmmm,
I see why you are anonymous.
C

Nancy June 22nd, 2013 at 12:23 am


Funny, sort of. My hubby used to buy me jewelry. He loved romantic surprises. Over the past 5 years he has changed. I get electronics. For our tenth anniversary, I told him something romantic would make me happy. I told him when he asked that the last thing I wanted was anything related to electronics and especially Not a camera.

Guess what I got? A camera.
So my decision is to take some outdated jewelry and have it redesigned .
That is my gift to myself.

Calla Gold June 22nd, 2013 at 7:36 am


Nancy,
I’m sorry to hear your man isn’t hearing ‘romantic gift.” I know how that is. One year I got a vacuum, no joke. I really needed one, but still. I told him I was giving him a pass this year because he’s a student and we’re scraping it, but no more gifts for ‘us’ or the house and calling it for me.
Another year I got this enormous coat from LL Bean in a funky mustard color. The arms went about six inches below my hands. I felt like I should channel my inner Alaskan hunter in this thing. Not a winning gift.
But not to just sing his mistakes, I’ve gotten cool stuff too. (And a camera! Ha!)
He could easily tell you of the gift I gave him I’ll never live down. We were young and poor and I found this dirty enamel teapot/kettle at a yard sale. I know enamel cleans up. So I bought it and used oven cleaner and it looked like new. I swished water around inside it to make sure it was fresh.
So he opened it and was like, “hey I could use this. Thanks babe.” Then he went to fill it up with water in bright light and when he looked inside it was all rusted. OOoops!
Hoping You Get a Romantic Gift Sometime,
Calla Gold

Lisa B August 19th, 2013 at 8:14 am


Calla,
I’m not the opposite end of the spectrum. I LOVE gadgets. I’m not moved by jewelry. Every now and then I’ll see a piece that I like, but my tastes fluctuate greatly and beyond my wedding ring, I don’t really desire expensive jewelry. I am THRILLED to receive however, the latest kitchen gadget or electronic. Things that I see and want, but never want to spend money on. Those are the things on my wishlist and so those are the things I want to unwrap. Still, no matter how many hints and/or requests I drop, I inevitably receive a ring or a necklace for EVERY holiday. I asked for a Mac Book Pro for my 10th anniversary and instead received a gold necklace of equal value. I would never return it because of what it symbolizes, but before I opened it he literally said, “I know it’s not what you would have wanted, but it’s what I wanted you to have.”
On one hand I think that is super-sweet…on another, I think it’s extremely selfish, considering that I got him the thing he’s been wanting for years: an expensive flamenco guitar. He would have been so upset if I have him a watch or a ring instead because it’s what I wanted him to have. I’m rambling, but it’s been really bothering me and your list made me realize that women are EXPECTED to like jewelery because jewelers and other women often tell me that jewelry is the ultimate gift.
Gadget not jewelry lovin’ gal

Calla Gold August 19th, 2013 at 8:36 pm


Lisa B.
You crack me up. And I’m sorry that your man isn’t listening. I have one quote for him…
When you like someone give them something you like, (it shares you with them)
When you love someone give them something they love (even if it does nothing for them. It shows your regard for them and their interests)
Thanks for sharing Lisa. I like gadgets too, but I need my bling!

Tracey D February 4th, 2014 at 10:48 am


This just so cracked me up. I have friends who’s husband’s don’t get them jewelry and it’s a bit painful. My honey gives me jewelry and I love each piece. It has memories and the feel of love.
I’m happy my man isn’t that guy!

Calla Gold February 4th, 2014 at 9:39 pm


Hi Tracey,
I’m so pleased that your guy is such a good guy! I’m pleased to have amused you with the fifteen reasons men don’t buy jewelry for women.
Your Personal Jeweler,
Calla

raul March 24th, 2014 at 10:02 am


I simply don’t understand how some people think jewelry can buy love. It is just and invention of capitalism. Poor ignorants who consider jewelry as something worthy.

Calla Gold March 24th, 2014 at 4:59 pm


Hello Raul,
I’m saddened that you see this as some sort of capitalist plot to fleece the masses or something. I work hard so I can reach my goals in life.
Celebrating my family, my marriage and people I love is a reward to me. I am thankful that I can buy a jewelry gift here and there to remind someone I love of a special moment, like graduation or a special birthday. Flowers will wilt, but that special pair of earrings will say I love you to someone special to me for years to come.
My husband didn’t buy me an engagement ring to buy my love but to celebrate that he chose me and we’re going to have a great life together. I love him and I love my ring from him.
Calla Gold

Julia April 1st, 2014 at 12:35 am


How can I let a guy know that I would love jewelry? A guy I’ve been dating for a few months…

Calla Gold April 1st, 2014 at 8:22 pm


Hi Julia,
The next time you break a piece of jewelry, have him go with you into your favorite jewelry store, hopefully one where you have a special person who works there who knows you and has a write up of your favorite things.
Go there when he or she is at the store and ready for you. They can be conversational with him and ask for his contact info. They’ll already know your birthday. While you’re there chatting and having fun, try on a few pairs of earrings and maybe a bracelet.
Let him know how much fun you’re having and how you love jewelry. Then have his new jewelry store friend follow up and suggest he come in without you to see some pieces you have admired.
Good luck Julia!
Your Personal Jeweler,
Calla

Lisa May 27th, 2014 at 9:16 pm


So my fiancé even drew me a photo of a necklace he gave his ex wife when they were married. But why not give me jewelry? I’ve hinted that I would love some. But nothing.

Calla Gold May 28th, 2014 at 6:06 am


Wow Lisa, that’s kind of rough. Maybe he needs a totally totally for sure for sure hint. Like “I really love this…” and don’t say necklace, “pair of earrings” or something. Give him a picture in his email, tell him what store it is at. Tell him how romantic a gift of jewelry is and how it’ll remind you of him whenever you wear it.
Good luck!
Calla Gold

Lisa October 16th, 2014 at 10:23 am


Oops I never returned!! Thank you so much for your reply and your suggestions! I like that idea, especially saying how I would thik of him whenever I would wear something–that’s really the point. I can buy jewelry for myself anytime my budget allows, but it’s the giving/receiving of something beautiful and personal…..hopefully this will help him to “get” that. Thanks a bunch :)

Calla Gold October 16th, 2014 at 8:37 pm


Dear Lisa,
I’m so pleased you came back. I’m very happy you liked that way of explaining it to him! I hope he gets it.
Your Personal Jeweler,
Calla

Susanne December 9th, 2014 at 10:09 am


If a MAN won’t buy his cherished woman jewelry for every birthday, christmas, valentine’s day (big one!!!), sweetest day and the OTHER HOLIDAYS! then she needs to dump him and find a forever husband who can give her WHAT SHE DESERVES! A real man would let his wife TRAIN HIM to give her whatEVER she needs!!!

Calla Gold December 9th, 2014 at 9:29 pm


Dear Susanne,
Dang it!!! I missed the memo and there are too many years of water under the bridge. Not that he doesn’t get me jewelry, just once in a while so I’m surprised and it feels special.
I think I’ll keep him!
Thanks for writing Susanne!
Your Personal Jeweler,
Calla Gold

Steven December 26th, 2014 at 6:25 pm


When my gf and I were dating around 6 months, I wanted to start getting her jewelry, starting small which were earrings (huggings I think they call them). She mentioned not too flashy. She told me the dimensions of the earrings and I got them for her. She said she loved them and only wore them once because they were too big. The cheap ones she bought herself were perfect as she claims. She can’t sleep with the ones I got her because they poke her when she tries to sleep. She would only wear them when we go out (but never did). She told me not to buy her jewelry (she had her own necklace she loved and would never get rid of), no bracelets, rings (unless engagement ring of course). She even said that she doesn’t like getting flowers. I don’t remember the reason why she said these things years ago, but I would assume a bad experience. She did mention today that she discovered that she was insecure about herself. Her mother’s boyfriend gave her identical hugging earrings for my gf as a gift and apparently my gf loves them. I didn’t know she got them from her mothers boyfriend until she has shown me. It breaks my heart after 5 years dating this woman that she all of a sudden loves the jewelry another man gets her? Even if the relationship isn’t sexual, another man (that isn’t me) gets her a gift without her knowing and just gets it right that she loves it. She tells me they are just earrings but I wanted to get her earrings, necklace, bracelet, etc. I should mention that she did get a pandora bracelet at one out of our relationship and I started to buy charms for it on special occasions. But eventually stopped wearing that as well. It’s hard for me to get passed the fact that she accepts a gift from another man that had no prior knowledge of her apparent non jewelry obsession. But nails this one gift for her that I couldn’t nail. Her necklace recently broke and wants a new one and is shopping for the one that she likes so I can purchase it for her, however, the fact remains that I want to get her hugging earrings that she likes so can wear them as well so they match the necklace.

I’m sorry for writing so much but I must ask, am I being selfish, did I react the right way? Some of the points you make in your article may reflect some ways I was thinking years ago but she is quite blunt in her opinions so I toon what she said to heart.

Last thing I want to mention, I started to randomly get her flowers maybe a year or so into our relationship and loves when I surprise her with flowers apparently.. So why does she say that doesn’t like when people buy jewelry for her. Yes she’s picky but from her own spouse?

Grumpy December 28th, 2014 at 5:54 am


I love jewelry but never want a man to get me any. Purely the reason being that if we break up, I don’t want a reminder. On the other hand, I am happy to receive jewelry as gifts from girlfriends. Some of my lady friends have given me some really lovely pieces. Now those I can cherish for a lifetime! And of course, I buy for myself! 😉

Calla Gold December 29th, 2014 at 10:19 am


Dear Grumpy,
That is an interesting comment. One of the services I have provided over the years is the redesigning of old boyfriend jewelry and re-setting of old was-band wedding diamonds. The result is always great as the diamonds, gems and gold have been changed and can now be worn with no funky memories attached.
Many loving men wish to show their love with a gift that only you can appreciate. At the time it is given it is loving. I say let him shower you with jewelry gifts.
If he’s not the one, change them up. Know that you were cherished and move on.
That’s my take on it,
Calla Gold

Calla Gold December 29th, 2014 at 11:40 am


Dear Steven,
Thank you for sharing your story. I’ll start off by telling you that I think the earrings your GF is interested in are called “huggie” earrings. They are a hoop style with the hinge at the base of the earring. The post actually locks into the hinging half of the earring. Many women find they can sleep in these earrings because there is no post to dig into the head behind the ear. The post is contained inside the earring.
There is a picture of a huggie type earring in this blog post:
http://www.callagold.com/definition/ear-charms-jewelry-definition/
Possibly your GF said not to buy her jewelry because she is particular about the weight and dimensions of the earrings she wears. Often a heavy earring will sit unworn in a person’s jewelry box because though it looks right it feels too heavy and hurts to wear for too long. If she didn’t want to hurt your feelings and is super picky it’s easier to say don’t buy me jewelry than to say, “what I really want is this exact thing that looks like what you got but is different from what you got and I don’t want to seem difficult so let’s just not go there.
If that is the case then shop with her at a jewelry store where she can either try on the earrings or is they don’t let her that allows returns or exchanges.
I know it sounds dumb that you maybe can’t try something on but can return it it is often the case.
Now I don’t know your GF and perhaps I’m way off base on why she said “don’t buy her jewelry.” Possibly if you told her you’d like to buy her some earrings or a necklace and would like her input because you’d like to give her something beautiful and personal that would please you to see her in, she might respond to that.
Regarding the dynamic with her mom’s BF, I don’t know what that is about. Perhaps a father figure thing? If so I’d not mention your hurt feelings on that, because if there is some family dynamic going on there that is irrational, being all logical about it will only make you out to be the bad guy. I wouldn’t go there. But that’s me.
The flowers thing is interesting. Let me share how I am about flowers. If I get flowers on Valentines day or as an “I love you” surprise I really love it. But if my husband does it too often it takes the specialness out of it. And just to be weird and real here, I like someone else to notice that the flowers are dying and toss them. If I throw them away it makes me a little sad. If they magically vanish that’s better for me.
Anyway the thing I’m really hearing is that your feelings are hurt about her loving the mom’s BF gift earrings and not wearing yours. It is probably the most on your mind thing about buying jewelry for your GF. I got it and it sucks. But she really probably would not do well if you try to work out what happened there with her. It could make her feel defensive. Especially about her feelings for your mom’s BF. Is there someone else you could talk to about it? Someone who won’t stir the pot, but ask you to think of some solutions? In other words a good listener who will help you get beyond this hurtful moment and moving on?
I really thank you for writing. I like hearing your story Steven. Hopefully this helped.
Your Personal Jeweler,
Calla

OneOfMany February 5th, 2015 at 1:48 pm


“many loving men wish to….”

Yeah, right. Loving men would rather their love be returned without a bribe. You’d let a man “shower you with jewelry” (i.e. waste money on shiny metal and sparkly rocks) while still reserving the right to kick him to the curb later on? How unbelievably selfish and greedy of you. I bet you think you deserve it, don’t you? To be treated with awe and reverence? Well, you don’t. Nobody does. You’re not a goddess, you’re a narcissist. Women like you are one of the main reasons why men are thinking twice about marriage these days.
That’s a man’s take on it.

Calla Gold February 5th, 2015 at 9:20 pm


Hello One,
I’ve got to say when I decided to check my blog for comments this evening I wasn’t expecting to discover I’m a narcissist. Dang! Such a buzz kill. I thought that my husband got me jewelry now and then to make me feel special and loved. Well, we’ve been together 36 years. I love him tons and he’ll get no curb kicking from me. Just hugs, help, love, laughs and good team work.
I feel that you may not have had a truly loving relationship where you loved the person so much you wanted to give them something special many times.
Sometimes I give him something expensive and sometimes he gets a scavenger hunt with friends following to a silly gift. It’s all about being creative and showing love. I happen as do many women to appreciate a jewelry gift. Every time I wear the jewelry my husband gives me it gives me a rush of pleasure as it reminds me of his love.
Many loving and giving and deserving women out there would love a special just for them gift of jewelry.
I’m thinking I’m barking up the wrong tree with you, but perhaps not. Only time will tell. Buy her some jewelry!
Romantic Jeweler,
Calla Gold

Brittany April 7th, 2015 at 9:50 am


What about if I have been direct that I would like a piece of jewelry and have still never received one? We’ve gotten married, bought a house, have to, now almost 3 children. he says he wants to wait for the right time, but when is that?! I have even showed him what I like, and examples of things I would wear, all simple, inexpensive and well within our budget

Calla Gold April 8th, 2015 at 6:49 am


Hi Brittany,
Would your mother in law or father in law chat with him and fill him in that jewelry means a lot to women and is a personal and special gesture that is an important one. Perhaps he missed the memo when growing up.
It seems that you two have done important things together and jewelry would seem to be a very good idea as a gift.
My husband gave me a vacuum for my birthday one year. I was really hurt. I was a martyr about it and thanked him for the practical gift. Then I wrote down what I really thought of receiving that as a gift. I considered that a need of the house and not me personally. To celebrate my birthday should be something personal that makes me smile. He got it and he’s much better with the birthday gifts.
I hope that you can get through to him in some way.
I know that a logical and practical gift can be what a practical and logical person gives. Sometimes the practical guy doesn’t realize that what’s perfectly logical to him falls flat upon receipt. I’ve repeated this quote before and I’ll do it here, “when you like someone give them something YOU like. When you love someone give them something THEY like.” Sometimes husbands don’t get that their taste in not the needed thing, but your taste, in a great gift.
Giving a gift to someone you love is not about your priorities, but theirs. Good luck!
Your Personal Jeweler,
Calla

Mayo April 29th, 2015 at 4:29 am


I ‘LOVE’ Jewellery! That love started back in ’74 after receiving an 8mm cultured pink pearl ring set in sterling silver. I was just sweet 16 and my BF was sweet 19. We’re no longer together but, yes… I still have [and love] that ring and yes… I do think of him whenever I wear/clean my jewellery. Oh man, I remember exactly what happened; like it was… yesterday! I’ve been quite blessed over the years with wonderful, generous BF’s that gave me a lot of really nice jewellery.
I feel [and don’t get me wrong] that while receiving nice jewellery is wonderful; I for one don’t believe one should ‘wait’ for the man. A long time ago I got it into my head that if ‘I’ wanted a piece of jewellery ‘I’ can [and will] get it myself! Less hinting, asking, begging, telling, nagging, demanding, stress, what-have-you. It’s gotten to a point now that I appreciate the gift of $$$ instead! That way I pick what I like and there’s no hurt feelings if I return something etc. My BF and I also go together to buy jewellery for me too. :)
Here’s the unique thing about me. The jewellery pieces I picked-out with his $$$ gift has the ‘SAME EFFECT’ on me as if my BF had gone and got it himself! It makes me smile and I think of him whenever I wear those particular pieces of jewellery. To ME, it was ‘his’ hard earned $$$ that helped get something beautiful for me [even though I picked it out myself]. See? I’m happy, and he’s happy I’m happy!
I know this may not work for other couples, but, it works for us. All I was trying to say to my sisters out there was: If you can accept [and afford] getting the jewellery items for yourself…Do It! You don’t have to ‘wait’ for him to make you happy. Make YOURSELF happy! I mean after all, would you really want the jewellery pieces if it was bought for you only after 100 hints or demands? I’m sure you know he may not be buying it for you with such ‘loving feelings’ if he feels it’s forced upon him. For me, gifts like that don’t have a very positive vibe. I hope I’m making some sense. Sometimes I say things in a very round about way.
A lot [no all] of men are fairly clueless when it comes to this business of gifts with bling. Yes, I do agree that they have to be trained to some degree. But, you can only train if they are receptive to it, right?
So, good luck to all my sisters out there! I just wanted you all to be happy and have less stress about this… M.

Calla Gold April 30th, 2015 at 5:43 am


Dear Mayo,
I love your story and your attitude. I think you are very right, that if you go shopping together and he buys you a chosen piece of jewelry that it works just as well to remind you of him.
You explained yourself and your opinion wonderfully.
I think your sisters out there will appreciate what you have said.
Your Personal Jeweler,
Calla

Sad Face May 18th, 2015 at 11:39 am


My husband is totally guilty of this! I wish he would buy me jewelry, but alas…

Calla Gold May 18th, 2015 at 7:39 pm


How sad that this is happening. Can you print out my blog and put it under his plate when next you serve him a lovely meal?
I wouldn’t be able to do this as my wonderful husband does all the cooking. So maybe that’s a crappy idea.
Your Personal Full of Hmmm Ideas Jeweler,
Calla Gold

Nancy May 19th, 2015 at 9:21 am


Fine and all Calla what you wrote. For me, my husband has bought me jewlry in the past for which I am grateful. Because of health reasons, we both don’t think much about jewlry right now. I can say this though for which I am very thandful: He gives me alot of attention and has been faithful to me; these last two things that I mentioned mean more to me than any piece of jewelry. However, I will mention to him if and when I do see a piece of jewlry that I truly like and want. I once read that we should encourage our husband to spend money on us; I believe this but, we should also spend money on them as well. Thanks for your article. Jewlry is a nice way of showing anyone that you care and love them.

Calla Gold May 20th, 2015 at 7:44 am


Hi Nancy,
Thank you for sharing that you husband is faithful and gives you a lot of attention. He sounds like he’s really into loving you. That is just awesome.
Each piece of jewelry my husband has given me or planned (ie, said, “hey babe can you design yourself a really cool 25th wedding anniversary ring? Then give it to me and forget about it so I can give you a ring you’ll love?” Me, “on it!”) I love completely. Every time I put on that 25th anniversary ring, which is a lot I think of him. He’s funny, loving, fun and my best friend. I wouldn’t love him less if he didn’t give me jewelry, but the fact that he does just surrounds me with symbols of his love and makes me smile more, and feel boosts of love happiness at the oddest times.
I guess I’m saying I like to have both.
And as far as he goes, I love to get him things. We recently got him a kick ass mountain bike, following up the getting of a great road bike. We love biking and his bikes were getting dated. He’s into athletic toys, I’m into jewelry. But for the record I’m up gettin dusty on my mountain bike regularly with him.
There are so many ways to say I love you.
Thank you for sharing yours.
Your Personal Jeweler,
Calla Gold

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