“My Husband Never Buys Me Jewelry” – The Fifteen Reasons Men Don’t Buy Jewelry for Women

By Calla Gold


Men don't buy jewelry

“Me? Buy Jewelry?”


Full Disclosure

Jeremy, my husband, added all the “dudes” and all the funny stuff. I’m leaving it in!

I Really Wanted to Know Why the Guy’s Were Shying Away From Buying Jewelry

I don’t know about other parts of the world, but for this Santa Barbara Jeweler the title of this blog is a common lament among  Santa Barbara women. “Guys! Why don’t you buy your sweeties jewelry?”

To be fair, some of you do. I know. I’ve sold it to you—and to some, multiple times. Way to go, Dudes!

Over the years I’ve compiled a mental list of excuses from men for why they don’t buy women jewelry. Want to hear some? Here goes.

Fifteen Reasons Men Don’t Buy Jewelry for Women

  1. “I have no idea what my wife likes.” Dude! Talk to the woman… or talk to her best friend or talk to her Jeweler!
  2. “She never asks for jewelry.” See #1.
  3. “The last time I bought her something she exchanged it for something else.” So you give up that easily? Don’t wimp out, man!
  4. “Jewelry is too expensive.” My son bought his girlfriend a very nice sterling silver necklace for thirty bucks. You don’t have to get her the Hope diamond.
  5. “She complained about how much it cost.” But secretly loved it. Acknowledge her and move on. She’s wearing it isn’t she?
  6. “Jewelry is frivolous. It’s unnecessary.” Something that symbolizes undying love is not frivolous.
  7. “She buys her own jewelry. Why should I?” Because she wants you to, Doofus! It’s a gift; a present. Girls like to be surprised. They dream about being given meaningful gifts from loved ones and telling their friends it’s from you.
  8. “She buys her own clothes. What’s the difference?” See #7
  9. “I always get her something for the home.” I don’t care what she says, the last thing she wants for her anniversary is a toaster. There is nothing more tacky than giving the love of your life a toaster or a couch to commemorate your marriage.
  10. “She has a bunch of jewelry she never wears. The last thing she needs is another ring or pair of earrings.” First of all, 80% of the stuff is probably out of date, broken, and can’t be worn. Secondly, a woman can never have too much jewelry. Period. And again, see #7.
  11. “It simply never occurred to me.” Well…now you know!
  12. “I bought her a wedding ring. I’m done. Right?” Not even, Dude!
  13. “I know nothing about jewelry. How do I know I’m not getting ripped off?” Read reviews on the internet; ask co-workers; ask a couple of jewelry lovers; ask your wife! Ask me! Clients refer people to Calla Gold Jewelry all the time.
  14. “I have no idea where to buy jewelry. How do I know I can trust them?” See #13
  15. “Everybody gets jewelry. I want to do something different.” That’s fine. Do something different. I love doing different things! Take her to Hawaii or rafting down the Colorado. Ride bikes across Europe. In the middle of the trip, though…surprise her with a piece jewelry. Now she’ll always be reminded of that something different that you so thoughtfully dreamed up.

Girls, in case your guy happens to fit into one or more of these categories (or one I haven’t mentioned), show him this blog post.

What You Can Do About it
(Guys you can stop reading now, this part is for the ladies)

Let him know you love him and he can actually buy jewelry for you. Hopefully, he’ll take the hint!

Surprisingly Enough Guys Are Not Psychic, Talk to Him


Sealed Envelope with Red Wax

Make it  easy for him. Make a jewelry wish list and keep it current. Then, you can tell him that secret agent Calla Gold has the encrypted “loved-jewelry” document under lock and key. All he has to do is call Calla Gold Jewelry Headquarters at and your classified jewelry dreams will be revealed. Or insert your Jeweler’s name to the scenario.

What’s the Takeaway Message Here?

If he’s not giving you jewelry now, change what you’re doing. Stop waiting, stop hinting, just say what you really want. Make it happen.


84 Responses to ““My Husband Never Buys Me Jewelry” – The Fifteen Reasons Men Don’t Buy Jewelry for Women”

Jacquelin Daugherty March 21st, 2011 at 11:26 pm

Hello Calla,
Great reason. I have a mother in law who my husbands father never buys her one piece of jewelry in 25 years. OMG
I could not marryy a man like that.
I took time to educate my husband. Like;when we were looking a diamonds. He knows colors, The 3 Cs.
I love amythest. He always says to me; you have enought amythest. I say; I could never have enough amythes my dear. He purchased a green amythest. Beautiful Ring. He has the best taste in jewelry. I must say. i TRAINED HIM WELL!!
I love your 15 list. I do not need diamonds. Just one carot amethyst would look nice. I will wait till our ten year Annv. Maybe if alll our money
is in order. I would love a 3 stone – Past, present,future ring. He knows what a 3 stone P ring means.
Love it.
Thank you for the list. THis is my first time to your web sight.
I see you have estate jewelry. I am in the mood to change my style. I will check out what you have.
Thanks again

Calla Gold March 22nd, 2011 at 12:00 am

I’d like to validate you on what you did right. You communicated to your husband and let him know what you like in jewelry and you let him know it’s important to you. Well done! You are a shining example. You also talk about what great taste he has in his choices for you. Other women should definitely let their men know how thrilled they are. If a guy is a hero with his jewelry gift for you, he’ll do it again!

Jeremy March 22nd, 2011 at 7:43 pm

I make sure my wife is taken care of. I can see how many men don’t buy their wives the finer things in life, but my wife is well taken care of that’s for sure.

Kymberly March 22nd, 2011 at 11:02 pm

You hit all the biggies Calla! I had a good time reading your post then fondling the white gold bracelet my husband gave me for our 20th anniversary. He’s a keeper!

Calla Gold March 22nd, 2011 at 11:21 pm

Kymberly, I’m thrilled to hear that your man knows how to remind you that you are loved and celebrated.
And it sounds like Jeremy knows how to be a good husband too. Way to go!

Dr. Lynn K. Jones March 24th, 2011 at 2:38 am

Great blog post, Calla. I think I lot of our guys are genuinely intimidated for all the reasons you name. Now they know they don’t have to be!

Daniel Zia March 25th, 2011 at 5:09 am

I think the biggest thing holding men back from buying jewelery is their lack of knowledge of the product as you suggested in #13. That being said I think Calla is doing an excellent job of educating the consumer especially through this Santa Barbara Jewelery blog which is a great resource. Thanks Calla!

Brian Perkins March 25th, 2011 at 8:20 am

Ha, great post Calla! Both funny and true. I think you really hit the nail on the head here and have provided a lot of great information. Good for a guy like me to read!

Calla Gold March 25th, 2011 at 1:15 pm

Daniel and Brian, I am so delighted to get your male viewpoint feedback. This was one of those posts that was a long time in coming. I feel like a sociologist with my questions and listening to the attitudes. I think my favorite thing to discover was after asking why men don’t buy, then I’d liken jewelry to tools, cars, and guns and whatnot and say jewelry is like that for women. And a number of guys were like, well jeez why didn’t she just say so? Or I just don’t get why it matters. And I tell them what it symbolizes and they’d be like. Yeah, I guess I’m down with giving a “gift of love.” I just didn’t want to get her jewelry. But a gift of love, well that’s cool, cuz I’m a romantic guy. ~ Calla

Melissa V. March 27th, 2011 at 10:20 pm

Calla, just look at the conversation you’ve ignited here! You really are my blogging hero. I love that people are sharing stories, and that some spouses are chiming in to give you really valuable ‘market research’ – that your markEDing is working wonders!

Calla Gold March 27th, 2011 at 11:30 pm

Melissa, I am beyond pleased at the conversation this has stirred up. It’s so exciting and educating for me too. Thank you for your kind words, you really put in perspective how valuable this feedback really is. I’m especially pleased to hear from the guys!

David T.C. March 31st, 2011 at 2:55 am

Your website is awesome. This blog post in particular was entertaining AND informative, often hard to make work out, but extremely efficient once it has been. That being said, it has been!
David the surrogate

Calla Gold March 31st, 2011 at 3:25 am

David, I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that you worked out what she liked in the jewelry department and successfully procured said item and successfully had it received. I’m betting she was really really pleased! Just guessin’ here!
Calla the surrogate Mom

toni December 5th, 2011 at 2:34 pm

I have done all of the above & so far it’s still been 17yr’s since he’s last bought me jewerly, I’ve given up. He has no problem buying anything for himself though. Btw we have been married for 18 yr’s.

Calla Gold December 5th, 2011 at 3:08 pm

I’ve had a couple conversations with husbands and they say, “I got her a wedding ring, I’m done.” I beg to differ and diplomatically say so. I liken jewelry for her to tool or guns to him. Sometimes that works.
Shall I personally send him a copy of “My Husband Never Buys Me Jewelry?”
Do you have a wish list ready at your favorite Jewelers?
Calla Gold

Gary February 2nd, 2012 at 9:45 am

I would have to differ with you on number 6. It is absolutely frivolous and unnecessary. Your belief that it “symbolizes undying love” is both shallow and wrong. My wife has a large jewelry stand full of jewelry from old boyfriends, “love” that has long since died. You want a symbol of undying love? Those have to be created from 2 people’s experiences together and renewed daily. Senselessly dropping cash on precious metals and stones that people are dying and being enslaved to dig out of the earth doesn’t create a symbol of undying love. There is truly only one reason to buy jewelry and it is the only reason I do it. Because it makes my wife happy and I like making her happy. The rest of it is just rationalization of dropping money frivolously on an unnecessary item.

Calla Gold February 2nd, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Thank you sharing your viewpoint. I hope you realize I’d be drummed out of the corps of Jewelers the world over if I didn’t think that a jewelry gift symbolized undying love. And I’m a huge romantic. So I’ll stand by #6, but I am happy to have the opposing viewpoint on it from you. I do see your point.
Gary I love that you buy your wife jewelry and it makes her happy. You sound like a great husband and a Philosopher too.
Calla Gold

steph May 10th, 2012 at 12:42 pm

I picked out the ring, gave him the number, told him exactly where in the jewelery store, even told him id buy it for myself if he didnt buy it for me. he bought me a lawn chair… does that mean he wants to piss me off???

Calla Gold May 10th, 2012 at 8:24 pm

You totally led that horse to water. Dang, I guess he just can’t get over his “practical lovin’ gift giving from hell” side of himself.
If you lived in my town, we’d pick the perfect jewelry gift for you, charge it to his credit card, put it in a pretty box and have you take it to him.
Then hand it to him and say, “Hand this to me babe.”
He does, you open it up and ooh and ahh, and hug and kiss him and thank him for such a great gift. Make a big fuss. Make him a hero. Maybe he’ll get the clue.
If not, at least you got it from him! In your own way!!
Calla Gold

Calla Gold May 26th, 2012 at 9:35 am

I’m glad you enjoyed the enjoyed the 15 reasons Why Men Don’t Buy Jewelry for Women. I’m guessing you are not among the guys who looked at this and said, “Oh goody more excuses I can use to dodge buying jewelry for my gal.” Seriously, I deleted a comment from a guy who said that.
I’ll be happy to email you.
Your Personal Jeweler,

anonymously me May 12th, 2013 at 2:11 pm

Why should I buy her something? She wants fine things? She can start working (no wonder i’ll never get married). Yes I’m a selfish, self-absorbed prick and I love every single bit of it.
Ahhh yes… jewelry… I have some. I work so damn hard for it. She wants a ring, well she better work… after all, I never heard of girls “giving” me jewelry for a present.
She wants a fine jewelry, she better start getting me some and she’ll get finer things in return.

Calla Gold May 13th, 2013 at 8:07 pm

I see why you are anonymous.

Nancy June 22nd, 2013 at 12:23 am

Funny, sort of. My hubby used to buy me jewelry. He loved romantic surprises. Over the past 5 years he has changed. I get electronics. For our tenth anniversary, I told him something romantic would make me happy. I told him when he asked that the last thing I wanted was anything related to electronics and especially Not a camera.

Guess what I got? A camera.
So my decision is to take some outdated jewelry and have it redesigned .
That is my gift to myself.

Calla Gold June 22nd, 2013 at 7:36 am

I’m sorry to hear your man isn’t hearing ‘romantic gift.” I know how that is. One year I got a vacuum, no joke. I really needed one, but still. I told him I was giving him a pass this year because he’s a student and we’re scraping it, but no more gifts for ‘us’ or the house and calling it for me.
Another year I got this enormous coat from LL Bean in a funky mustard color. The arms went about six inches below my hands. I felt like I should channel my inner Alaskan hunter in this thing. Not a winning gift.
But not to just sing his mistakes, I’ve gotten cool stuff too. (And a camera! Ha!)
He could easily tell you of the gift I gave him I’ll never live down. We were young and poor and I found this dirty enamel teapot/kettle at a yard sale. I know enamel cleans up. So I bought it and used oven cleaner and it looked like new. I swished water around inside it to make sure it was fresh.
So he opened it and was like, “hey I could use this. Thanks babe.” Then he went to fill it up with water in bright light and when he looked inside it was all rusted. OOoops!
Hoping You Get a Romantic Gift Sometime,
Calla Gold

Lisa B August 19th, 2013 at 8:14 am

I’m not the opposite end of the spectrum. I LOVE gadgets. I’m not moved by jewelry. Every now and then I’ll see a piece that I like, but my tastes fluctuate greatly and beyond my wedding ring, I don’t really desire expensive jewelry. I am THRILLED to receive however, the latest kitchen gadget or electronic. Things that I see and want, but never want to spend money on. Those are the things on my wishlist and so those are the things I want to unwrap. Still, no matter how many hints and/or requests I drop, I inevitably receive a ring or a necklace for EVERY holiday. I asked for a Mac Book Pro for my 10th anniversary and instead received a gold necklace of equal value. I would never return it because of what it symbolizes, but before I opened it he literally said, “I know it’s not what you would have wanted, but it’s what I wanted you to have.”
On one hand I think that is super-sweet…on another, I think it’s extremely selfish, considering that I got him the thing he’s been wanting for years: an expensive flamenco guitar. He would have been so upset if I have him a watch or a ring instead because it’s what I wanted him to have. I’m rambling, but it’s been really bothering me and your list made me realize that women are EXPECTED to like jewelery because jewelers and other women often tell me that jewelry is the ultimate gift.
Gadget not jewelry lovin’ gal

Calla Gold August 19th, 2013 at 8:36 pm

Lisa B.
You crack me up. And I’m sorry that your man isn’t listening. I have one quote for him…
When you like someone give them something you like, (it shares you with them)
When you love someone give them something they love (even if it does nothing for them. It shows your regard for them and their interests)
Thanks for sharing Lisa. I like gadgets too, but I need my bling!

Tracey D February 4th, 2014 at 10:48 am

This just so cracked me up. I have friends who’s husband’s don’t get them jewelry and it’s a bit painful. My honey gives me jewelry and I love each piece. It has memories and the feel of love.
I’m happy my man isn’t that guy!

Calla Gold February 4th, 2014 at 9:39 pm

Hi Tracey,
I’m so pleased that your guy is such a good guy! I’m pleased to have amused you with the fifteen reasons men don’t buy jewelry for women.
Your Personal Jeweler,

raul March 24th, 2014 at 10:02 am

I simply don’t understand how some people think jewelry can buy love. It is just and invention of capitalism. Poor ignorants who consider jewelry as something worthy.

Calla Gold March 24th, 2014 at 4:59 pm

Hello Raul,
I’m saddened that you see this as some sort of capitalist plot to fleece the masses or something. I work hard so I can reach my goals in life.
Celebrating my family, my marriage and people I love is a reward to me. I am thankful that I can buy a jewelry gift here and there to remind someone I love of a special moment, like graduation or a special birthday. Flowers will wilt, but that special pair of earrings will say I love you to someone special to me for years to come.
My husband didn’t buy me an engagement ring to buy my love but to celebrate that he chose me and we’re going to have a great life together. I love him and I love my ring from him.
Calla Gold

Julia April 1st, 2014 at 12:35 am

How can I let a guy know that I would love jewelry? A guy I’ve been dating for a few months…

Calla Gold April 1st, 2014 at 8:22 pm

Hi Julia,
The next time you break a piece of jewelry, have him go with you into your favorite jewelry store, hopefully one where you have a special person who works there who knows you and has a write up of your favorite things.
Go there when he or she is at the store and ready for you. They can be conversational with him and ask for his contact info. They’ll already know your birthday. While you’re there chatting and having fun, try on a few pairs of earrings and maybe a bracelet.
Let him know how much fun you’re having and how you love jewelry. Then have his new jewelry store friend follow up and suggest he come in without you to see some pieces you have admired.
Good luck Julia!
Your Personal Jeweler,

Lisa May 27th, 2014 at 9:16 pm

So my fiancé even drew me a photo of a necklace he gave his ex wife when they were married. But why not give me jewelry? I’ve hinted that I would love some. But nothing.

Calla Gold May 28th, 2014 at 6:06 am

Wow Lisa, that’s kind of rough. Maybe he needs a totally totally for sure for sure hint. Like “I really love this…” and don’t say necklace, “pair of earrings” or something. Give him a picture in his email, tell him what store it is at. Tell him how romantic a gift of jewelry is and how it’ll remind you of him whenever you wear it.
Good luck!
Calla Gold

Lisa October 16th, 2014 at 10:23 am

Oops I never returned!! Thank you so much for your reply and your suggestions! I like that idea, especially saying how I would thik of him whenever I would wear something–that’s really the point. I can buy jewelry for myself anytime my budget allows, but it’s the giving/receiving of something beautiful and personal…..hopefully this will help him to “get” that. Thanks a bunch 🙂

Calla Gold October 16th, 2014 at 8:37 pm

Dear Lisa,
I’m so pleased you came back. I’m very happy you liked that way of explaining it to him! I hope he gets it.
Your Personal Jeweler,

Susanne December 9th, 2014 at 10:09 am

If a MAN won’t buy his cherished woman jewelry for every birthday, christmas, valentine’s day (big one!!!), sweetest day and the OTHER HOLIDAYS! then she needs to dump him and find a forever husband who can give her WHAT SHE DESERVES! A real man would let his wife TRAIN HIM to give her whatEVER she needs!!!

Calla Gold December 9th, 2014 at 9:29 pm

Dear Susanne,
Dang it!!! I missed the memo and there are too many years of water under the bridge. Not that he doesn’t get me jewelry, just once in a while so I’m surprised and it feels special.
I think I’ll keep him!
Thanks for writing Susanne!
Your Personal Jeweler,
Calla Gold

Steven December 26th, 2014 at 6:25 pm

When my gf and I were dating around 6 months, I wanted to start getting her jewelry, starting small which were earrings (huggings I think they call them). She mentioned not too flashy. She told me the dimensions of the earrings and I got them for her. She said she loved them and only wore them once because they were too big. The cheap ones she bought herself were perfect as she claims. She can’t sleep with the ones I got her because they poke her when she tries to sleep. She would only wear them when we go out (but never did). She told me not to buy her jewelry (she had her own necklace she loved and would never get rid of), no bracelets, rings (unless engagement ring of course). She even said that she doesn’t like getting flowers. I don’t remember the reason why she said these things years ago, but I would assume a bad experience. She did mention today that she discovered that she was insecure about herself. Her mother’s boyfriend gave her identical hugging earrings for my gf as a gift and apparently my gf loves them. I didn’t know she got them from her mothers boyfriend until she has shown me. It breaks my heart after 5 years dating this woman that she all of a sudden loves the jewelry another man gets her? Even if the relationship isn’t sexual, another man (that isn’t me) gets her a gift without her knowing and just gets it right that she loves it. She tells me they are just earrings but I wanted to get her earrings, necklace, bracelet, etc. I should mention that she did get a pandora bracelet at one out of our relationship and I started to buy charms for it on special occasions. But eventually stopped wearing that as well. It’s hard for me to get passed the fact that she accepts a gift from another man that had no prior knowledge of her apparent non jewelry obsession. But nails this one gift for her that I couldn’t nail. Her necklace recently broke and wants a new one and is shopping for the one that she likes so I can purchase it for her, however, the fact remains that I want to get her hugging earrings that she likes so can wear them as well so they match the necklace.

I’m sorry for writing so much but I must ask, am I being selfish, did I react the right way? Some of the points you make in your article may reflect some ways I was thinking years ago but she is quite blunt in her opinions so I toon what she said to heart.

Last thing I want to mention, I started to randomly get her flowers maybe a year or so into our relationship and loves when I surprise her with flowers apparently.. So why does she say that doesn’t like when people buy jewelry for her. Yes she’s picky but from her own spouse?

Calla Gold December 29th, 2014 at 11:40 am

Dear Steven,
Thank you for sharing your story. I’ll start off by telling you that I think the earrings your GF is interested in are called “huggie” earrings. They are a hoop style with the hinge at the base of the earring. The post actually locks into the hinging half of the earring. Many women find they can sleep in these earrings because there is no post to dig into the head behind the ear. The post is contained inside the earring.
There is a picture of a huggie type earring in this blog post:
Possibly your GF said not to buy her jewelry because she is particular about the weight and dimensions of the earrings she wears. Often a heavy earring will sit unworn in a person’s jewelry box because though it looks right it feels too heavy and hurts to wear for too long. If she didn’t want to hurt your feelings and is super picky it’s easier to say don’t buy me jewelry than to say, “what I really want is this exact thing that looks like what you got but is different from what you got and I don’t want to seem difficult so let’s just not go there.
If that is the case then shop with her at a jewelry store where she can either try on the earrings or is they don’t let her that allows returns or exchanges.
I know it sounds dumb that you maybe can’t try something on but can return it it is often the case.
Now I don’t know your GF and perhaps I’m way off base on why she said “don’t buy her jewelry.” Possibly if you told her you’d like to buy her some earrings or a necklace and would like her input because you’d like to give her something beautiful and personal that would please you to see her in, she might respond to that.
Regarding the dynamic with her mom’s BF, I don’t know what that is about. Perhaps a father figure thing? If so I’d not mention your hurt feelings on that, because if there is some family dynamic going on there that is irrational, being all logical about it will only make you out to be the bad guy. I wouldn’t go there. But that’s me.
The flowers thing is interesting. Let me share how I am about flowers. If I get flowers on Valentines day or as an “I love you” surprise I really love it. But if my husband does it too often it takes the specialness out of it. And just to be weird and real here, I like someone else to notice that the flowers are dying and toss them. If I throw them away it makes me a little sad. If they magically vanish that’s better for me.
Anyway the thing I’m really hearing is that your feelings are hurt about her loving the mom’s BF gift earrings and not wearing yours. It is probably the most on your mind thing about buying jewelry for your GF. I got it and it sucks. But she really probably would not do well if you try to work out what happened there with her. It could make her feel defensive. Especially about her feelings for your mom’s BF. Is there someone else you could talk to about it? Someone who won’t stir the pot, but ask you to think of some solutions? In other words a good listener who will help you get beyond this hurtful moment and moving on?
I really thank you for writing. I like hearing your story Steven. Hopefully this helped.
Your Personal Jeweler,

Grumpy December 28th, 2014 at 5:54 am

I love jewelry but never want a man to get me any. Purely the reason being that if we break up, I don’t want a reminder. On the other hand, I am happy to receive jewelry as gifts from girlfriends. Some of my lady friends have given me some really lovely pieces. Now those I can cherish for a lifetime! And of course, I buy for myself! 😉

Calla Gold December 29th, 2014 at 10:19 am

Dear Grumpy,
That is an interesting comment. One of the services I have provided over the years is the redesigning of old boyfriend jewelry and re-setting of old was-band wedding diamonds. The result is always great as the diamonds, gems and gold have been changed and can now be worn with no funky memories attached.
Many loving men wish to show their love with a gift that only you can appreciate. At the time it is given it is loving. I say let him shower you with jewelry gifts.
If he’s not the one, change them up. Know that you were cherished and move on.
That’s my take on it,
Calla Gold

OneOfMany February 5th, 2015 at 1:48 pm

“many loving men wish to….”

Yeah, right. Loving men would rather their love be returned without a bribe. You’d let a man “shower you with jewelry” (i.e. waste money on shiny metal and sparkly rocks) while still reserving the right to kick him to the curb later on? How unbelievably selfish and greedy of you. I bet you think you deserve it, don’t you? To be treated with awe and reverence? Well, you don’t. Nobody does. You’re not a goddess, you’re a narcissist. Women like you are one of the main reasons why men are thinking twice about marriage these days.
That’s a man’s take on it.

Calla Gold February 5th, 2015 at 9:20 pm

Hello One,
I’ve got to say when I decided to check my blog for comments this evening I wasn’t expecting to discover I’m a narcissist. Dang! Such a buzz kill. I thought that my husband got me jewelry now and then to make me feel special and loved. Well, we’ve been together 36 years. I love him tons and he’ll get no curb kicking from me. Just hugs, help, love, laughs and good team work.
I feel that you may not have had a truly loving relationship where you loved the person so much you wanted to give them something special many times.
Sometimes I give him something expensive and sometimes he gets a scavenger hunt with friends following to a silly gift. It’s all about being creative and showing love. I happen as do many women to appreciate a jewelry gift. Every time I wear the jewelry my husband gives me it gives me a rush of pleasure as it reminds me of his love.
Many loving and giving and deserving women out there would love a special just for them gift of jewelry.
I’m thinking I’m barking up the wrong tree with you, but perhaps not. Only time will tell. Buy her some jewelry!
Romantic Jeweler,
Calla Gold

Brittany April 7th, 2015 at 9:50 am

What about if I have been direct that I would like a piece of jewelry and have still never received one? We’ve gotten married, bought a house, have to, now almost 3 children. he says he wants to wait for the right time, but when is that?! I have even showed him what I like, and examples of things I would wear, all simple, inexpensive and well within our budget

Calla Gold April 8th, 2015 at 6:49 am

Hi Brittany,
Would your mother in law or father in law chat with him and fill him in that jewelry means a lot to women and is a personal and special gesture that is an important one. Perhaps he missed the memo when growing up.
It seems that you two have done important things together and jewelry would seem to be a very good idea as a gift.
My husband gave me a vacuum for my birthday one year. I was really hurt. I was a martyr about it and thanked him for the practical gift. Then I wrote down what I really thought of receiving that as a gift. I considered that a need of the house and not me personally. To celebrate my birthday should be something personal that makes me smile. He got it and he’s much better with the birthday gifts.
I hope that you can get through to him in some way.
I know that a logical and practical gift can be what a practical and logical person gives. Sometimes the practical guy doesn’t realize that what’s perfectly logical to him falls flat upon receipt. I’ve repeated this quote before and I’ll do it here, “when you like someone give them something YOU like. When you love someone give them something THEY like.” Sometimes husbands don’t get that their taste in not the needed thing, but your taste, in a great gift.
Giving a gift to someone you love is not about your priorities, but theirs. Good luck!
Your Personal Jeweler,

Mayo April 29th, 2015 at 4:29 am

I ‘LOVE’ Jewellery! That love started back in ’74 after receiving an 8mm cultured pink pearl ring set in sterling silver. I was just sweet 16 and my BF was sweet 19. We’re no longer together but, yes… I still have [and love] that ring and yes… I do think of him whenever I wear/clean my jewellery. Oh man, I remember exactly what happened; like it was… yesterday! I’ve been quite blessed over the years with wonderful, generous BF’s that gave me a lot of really nice jewellery.
I feel [and don’t get me wrong] that while receiving nice jewellery is wonderful; I for one don’t believe one should ‘wait’ for the man. A long time ago I got it into my head that if ‘I’ wanted a piece of jewellery ‘I’ can [and will] get it myself! Less hinting, asking, begging, telling, nagging, demanding, stress, what-have-you. It’s gotten to a point now that I appreciate the gift of $$$ instead! That way I pick what I like and there’s no hurt feelings if I return something etc. My BF and I also go together to buy jewellery for me too. 🙂
Here’s the unique thing about me. The jewellery pieces I picked-out with his $$$ gift has the ‘SAME EFFECT’ on me as if my BF had gone and got it himself! It makes me smile and I think of him whenever I wear those particular pieces of jewellery. To ME, it was ‘his’ hard earned $$$ that helped get something beautiful for me [even though I picked it out myself]. See? I’m happy, and he’s happy I’m happy!
I know this may not work for other couples, but, it works for us. All I was trying to say to my sisters out there was: If you can accept [and afford] getting the jewellery items for yourself…Do It! You don’t have to ‘wait’ for him to make you happy. Make YOURSELF happy! I mean after all, would you really want the jewellery pieces if it was bought for you only after 100 hints or demands? I’m sure you know he may not be buying it for you with such ‘loving feelings’ if he feels it’s forced upon him. For me, gifts like that don’t have a very positive vibe. I hope I’m making some sense. Sometimes I say things in a very round about way.
A lot [no all] of men are fairly clueless when it comes to this business of gifts with bling. Yes, I do agree that they have to be trained to some degree. But, you can only train if they are receptive to it, right?
So, good luck to all my sisters out there! I just wanted you all to be happy and have less stress about this… M.

Calla Gold April 30th, 2015 at 5:43 am

Dear Mayo,
I love your story and your attitude. I think you are very right, that if you go shopping together and he buys you a chosen piece of jewelry that it works just as well to remind you of him.
You explained yourself and your opinion wonderfully.
I think your sisters out there will appreciate what you have said.
Your Personal Jeweler,

Sad Face May 18th, 2015 at 11:39 am

My husband is totally guilty of this! I wish he would buy me jewelry, but alas…

Calla Gold May 18th, 2015 at 7:39 pm

How sad that this is happening. Can you print out my blog and put it under his plate when next you serve him a lovely meal?
I wouldn’t be able to do this as my wonderful husband does all the cooking. So maybe that’s a crappy idea.
Your Personal Full of Hmmm Ideas Jeweler,
Calla Gold

Nancy May 19th, 2015 at 9:21 am

Fine and all Calla what you wrote. For me, my husband has bought me jewlry in the past for which I am grateful. Because of health reasons, we both don’t think much about jewlry right now. I can say this though for which I am very thandful: He gives me alot of attention and has been faithful to me; these last two things that I mentioned mean more to me than any piece of jewelry. However, I will mention to him if and when I do see a piece of jewlry that I truly like and want. I once read that we should encourage our husband to spend money on us; I believe this but, we should also spend money on them as well. Thanks for your article. Jewlry is a nice way of showing anyone that you care and love them.

Calla Gold May 20th, 2015 at 7:44 am

Hi Nancy,
Thank you for sharing that you husband is faithful and gives you a lot of attention. He sounds like he’s really into loving you. That is just awesome.
Each piece of jewelry my husband has given me or planned (ie, said, “hey babe can you design yourself a really cool 25th wedding anniversary ring? Then give it to me and forget about it so I can give you a ring you’ll love?” Me, “on it!”) I love completely. Every time I put on that 25th anniversary ring, which is a lot I think of him. He’s funny, loving, fun and my best friend. I wouldn’t love him less if he didn’t give me jewelry, but the fact that he does just surrounds me with symbols of his love and makes me smile more, and feel boosts of love happiness at the oddest times.
I guess I’m saying I like to have both.
And as far as he goes, I love to get him things. We recently got him a kick ass mountain bike, following up the getting of a great road bike. We love biking and his bikes were getting dated. He’s into athletic toys, I’m into jewelry. But for the record I’m up gettin dusty on my mountain bike regularly with him.
There are so many ways to say I love you.
Thank you for sharing yours.
Your Personal Jeweler,
Calla Gold

Norman July 17th, 2015 at 9:39 am

I’m sorry but I don’t agree with #3. I am not very sentimental and my partner doesn’t like most jewelry. But when he bought me jewelry, he hinted that he’d like something too. So I put in the effort to research what he’d like, even took him to my store! I work in jewelry. The only thing he really likes are men’s wedding rings since they are simple and not flashy. But since we aren’t married, though we are committed, I felt that would be an inappropriate gift. So I bought him a masculine emerald pendant since emeralds symbolize unconditional, eternal love and strengthen bonds. I figured even if it isn’t his taste that he’d love the meaning enough to love it. I was wrong and although he was gracious when declining, it still broke my heart. Since the gift was from my heart it felt like a rejection of my love. So now I don’t want to buy him jewelry ever again. Just because it’s a guy buying it for a girl doesn’t mean it isn’t truly heartfelt. And if a woman won’t accept even an ugly piece of jewelry and wear it sometimes then she doesn’t deserve the jewelry period. Esp if it was a first time gift. (you teach them later what you DO legitimately like)

So men, if she wants to return it, let her. And let that be the last time she’ll need to return jewelry.

Calla Gold July 19th, 2015 at 6:57 am

Dear Norman,
I’m sorry your fella didn’t like what you chose for him. Know he was in no way rejecting you or your sentiment. I’m sure he didn’t realize how much he hurt your feelings. Jewelry is a lovely gift, but if someone hasn’t worn it, it can be difficult to figure out what would be comfortable for them.
I would not condemn someone for not wanting a particular piece of jewelry. I’d communicate and maybe together custom design something that he is comfortable with. He may need to be part of the process.
If a woman wants to return a piece of jewelry and exchange it for something else don’t condemn her. I was that girl. My fella once got me white gold and I’m a yellow gold girl. I exchanged my gift for a yellow gold one. I thanked him profusely for his gift of something so personal. I said I wanted to wear his gift with my other jewelry which is all yellow gold.
He got over it and has given me other yellow gold jewelry. I’m grateful not to have been having to wear something that didn’t work for me because his feelings would be too delicate to take it.
I didn’t want to come off as a spoiled little princess, but I didn’t want to spend a life receiving gifts that weren’t right for me and never having the courage to say it. He said he wanted me to have things I want and would like wearing. He’s crazy brave, he once impulse bought me a dress because the manikin looked like me. I am a picky person. I liked the dress. I warned him against rolling that dice twice. He took a big win on surprising me. No one was more surprised than I that I liked it.
I guess I’m saying don’t condemn someone because they don’t connect with your gift. It’s not you they aren’t comfortable with. That’s why jewelry stores offer exchange, they realize that it can be difficult to predict the perfect jewelry gift.
Thank you for writing Norman.
May your next jewelry gift to him be a big smiley success.
Your Personal Jeweler,

Jane Gaspar July 26th, 2015 at 11:38 am

My x husband, when we were planning on getting married, bought himself an expensive man’s diamond ring and never bought me an engagement ring. He said it was an investment and he kept it in his bank safe deposit box. I was very hurt, but like a dumb idiot, I married him anyway. We’ve been divorced for 18 years now and he probably still has that stupid ring. Who cares if he does or doesn’t. I think this is the worst engagement ring story ever! And yes it’s a very true story!

Calla Gold July 27th, 2015 at 5:57 am

Hello Jane,
Thank you for sharing your worst engagement ring story ever. That is a doozy. I’m pleased that you are no longer with that man. The sad thing is that an engagement ring isn’t just a gesture of love, but a symbol to the world that you two are joined. That he was so ungenerous and not caring what the world thought makes me think that marching to his own drummer was a sad place for you as well.
Thank you for sharing your tale. May your current love life be much happier!
Your Personal Jeweler,

michele September 17th, 2015 at 6:00 pm

I’ve noticed that if a man buys a piece of jewelery for his woman that shows he values her. But if she’s always asking for more and more jewelery, it says the woman’s attitude is an extravagant one.
I have a few pieces of jewelery I value a lot. One of those pieces is from my partner who surprised me with it.
A few pieces is enough for me, I won’t waste my money anymore getting more jewelery. Too much jewelery also shows a distraction from the person itself.

Calla Gold September 19th, 2015 at 2:16 pm

Hi Michele,
Thanks for sharing your viewpoint. I agree that someone constantly grasping for jewelry would be off-putting. Occasional jewelry gifts keeps it special and meaningful in my book.
Your Personal Jeweler,
Calla Gold

sean brooks October 1st, 2015 at 10:42 am

I feel like jewelry is stupid. It serves no functional purpose. It is a waste of money. I feel like any woman who wants jewelry is dumb. “Ohh look i got shinny stuff!”

Calla Gold October 1st, 2015 at 9:59 pm

Hi Sean,
A wise man once said, “If you like someone, share something you like with them. If you love someone, share something they love with them.” If you had been my boyfriend and been only into practicality and no art, spontaneous generous gestures or impractical moves of goofiness, we probably wouldn’t have made it far. I’m a generous person by nature and spend money on stupid funny gifts at times. I celebrate the emotion and laughs as valuable and memorable.
All practicality and no spontaneousness a sad me would make.
I have met an unfortunate number of women whose men never give them a personal gift and no jewelry. They are very sad about it. They said it would make them feel valued and special. One woman said, “he’s a good man, a good provider and very practical and wouldn’t ever go have an affair.” It was said with a stoic face. I know that even thought she knows he loves her, she’d like to hear it. She’s like a pretty and sparkly symbol of his regard.
I think it’s important to once in a while give a symbol of love and regard to your wife or girlfriend.
I’m not a monk, I have not forsworn possessions, nor am I a Puritan who is anti-frippery. I am a woman who wants to feel loved and to have a husband who appreciates my occasional impractical gifts of whimsy as well as the practical things I know he wants. I love him and want him to have favorite things around him that remind him that he means the world to me. And not every favorite thing is practical.
I am sorry that you feel the way you do.
Calla Gold

sean brooks October 2nd, 2015 at 8:49 am

I can love my wife and buy her things without feeling like some de-evolved ape and buying her shiny rocks dug out of the ground.

I love art. Im a musician. But jewlry is over priced shiny garbage that has no actual value. You take a 1000 dollar dimond ring to a pawn shop and they might give you the cost of the gold. If it has no resale value other than the raw materials used in the construction then it has no actual value.

You are equating giving shiny rocks to someone with loving them. Stop feeding into the BS.

Ill buy my wife 1000’s of dollars in computers, guitars, electronics, art, whatever she wants. But luckily my wife also feels like jewlry is a waste of money and sought only by the uneducated in life.

Calla Gold October 2nd, 2015 at 9:20 am

Hello again Sean,
I see that you feel so strongly about your opinion that you choose to put words in my mouth. I’m not clear how buying a gift for your wife to show you cherish her that happens to be jewelry makes you a devolved ape. My husband is not a devolved ape. Or at least the last time I looked at him when I kissed him goodbye before meeting a couple I am designing engagement rings for this morning, he looked human. And he made me laugh with a funny comment. That doesn’t seem too devolved to me. But enough about your claims of devolving apeness to guys who buy thoughtful jewelry gifts for their lady loves.
If you and your loving wife prefer musical instruments, electronics and art that is fine. That would be giving her a gift that she loved and it fits in my philosophy of giving someone something THEY love even if you don’t.
The subject of selling jewelry at a pawn shop can be a sore one. Pawn shops are at times places of great sadness. Someone needs to borrow money and they use their jewelry as collateral. For a certain time period they can come back and repay the loan with interest and get their jewelry back.
Many pawn business owners are not experts at jewelry and give very low-ball offers so they will not be hurt if they must keep the piece of jewelry after the loan time frame is past.
I know many clients who have sold jewelry to estate dealers who give more any day than a pawn shop would. Others use Craig’s List to find someone looking for their taste in jewelry or eBay. Any of these options can give more than a pawn shop. Sometimes jewelers will buy jewelry and generally they give more than a pawn shop would give.
But let’s compare jewelry with a car. You buy a new car, ding it up and wear it out over fifteen years. It goes maybe a bit out of style. You enjoyed it, it took you on two hundred thousand miles of trips and pleasure. Are you irate that it didn’t hold it’s value? That $30,000 car is now worth $1800.00. Are you commenting on their website about the loss in value? I doubt it.
Rings are not just the intrinsic value of gold and diamonds, there is design time, creativity, labor, special finishing and other details about it that taking it apart to recycle the gold will not recover.
Many women feel that beautiful jewelry is art that they can wear.
Does it take hours and hours to craft a beautiful song? A haunting melody? It took ages when I wrote songs as a teenager. Just like a musician makes magic out of sounds, jewelry designers elevate gemstones with settings that make them wearable.
I personally do not feel that jewelry is a waste of money. Nor do I think there is anything wrong with loving gemstones. It is fortunate that since you not only do not value these things, but seem to characterize people who do as subhuman, that your lovely wife is not hurt by your strong disinclination to buy her a jewelry gift.
Thank you for sharing your opinion. I defend your right to your opinion even if I do not subscribe to it.
I do wish you and your wife a long, happy marriage filled with music.
Music loving jeweler,
Calla Gold

sean brooks October 13th, 2015 at 12:26 pm

Of course you don’t think there is something wrong with admiring gem stones.

Diamonds and a lot of gem stones are mostly mined from africa. The deaths and rapes of millions of women and children are being financially supported by people buying diamonds.

And for what end? It is a a shiny rock dug out of the ground. Why not simply use Man Made gemstones and less rare metals.

I seriously doubt the vast majority of women (or men) buy jewelry based on its “artistic value” and prize gold and gem stones simply because they are expensive. Wouldn’t a much more practical gift be something like “Hey i donated 6000 dollars in your name to a charity to help feed starving kids”. But no. They want a 6000$ shiny rock someone dug out of the ground and polished and glued to a soft metal thats only real use is in electronic products.

Calla Gold October 14th, 2015 at 6:28 am

Hi Sean,
Boy I struggle about letting this comment stand. I don’t like to censor my commenters, but you are really pushin it here dude. It is untrue that most gemstones are mined in the African continent. For example Montana mines beautiful sapphires, the San Diego area is home to amazing tourmalines, there are diamonds in America, in fact there is a park where you can dig for diamonds yourself, then there is the Ekati mine, diamonds in Canada. And it’s not the only diamond mine in Canada, then there’s the hugely successful diamond mine in Australia, the Argyle mine which is the source of some of the most prized red and pink diamonds on the planet, there are diamond mines in Russia and I could go on for pages about all the gems found in South America. There are book written about all the gemstone mines just in America.
You also generalize that if it’s from Africa that it is the source of pain. Of course that is what gets focused on. There are so many mines that have been around for a very long time that are welcome and a source of stability for regions they are in. There is the Kymberley Process where world wide governments agree on steps to take to isolate non-compliant sources of diamonds and to track ethical sources from mine head to the cutting floor.
I know I’ll never change your mind about buying jewelry for your girlfriend or wife. I won’t try to do so. Nor will I censor your incorrect information. But I will state where I’m coming from.
I’ve given and received all kinds of wonderful gifts including donations in my name to worthy causes. But I have also received jewelry gifts from my husband. Nothing gives me more pleasure than putting on a piece that he gave me. I feel loved. I already know I am loved, so it’s not that I need the piece of jewelry to convince myself. It’s just a happy reminder.
Calla Gold

Drona October 26th, 2015 at 5:25 am

I got a beautiful traditional Indian emerald necklace and earrings interlaced with gold for this girl after doing lot of research and hunting around jewellery shops… and she’s so happy! It has floral pattern/floral motif and its just a stunning piece of art. I am so glad i bought her fine jewellery instead of fashion jewellery or costume jewellery. The beauty of natural gemstones and gold is unparalleled and its also an investment because it never loses its value with time

Calla Gold October 26th, 2015 at 6:21 am

Dear Drona,
Hearing your wonderful story and how happy your girlfriend is with your gift makes me very happy. You are a wonderful example of a man who does buy his girl jewelry and the happiness it brings.
Your Personal Jeweler,

Ty December 18th, 2015 at 9:58 am

While every person is different and there is no blanket answer for every situation. Perhaps he feels that Jewelry is impractical.

I have been in the situation where I just can’t think of something to buy for my S.O and jewelry seems like a default solution more than a thoughtful gift.

Personally, if I had a $1000 budget for an anniversary or a special occasion, I would prefer spend that money on a trip/vacation for the two of us. When I’m on my death bed, I would rather have precious memories than material possessions.

Calla Gold December 19th, 2015 at 7:36 am

Hello Ty,
I have run into many men telling me that jewelry isn’t practical and a savings bond or a couch is. I’m not saying that every birthday and Valentines Day you bring out the jewelry gifts, what I do feel is that the occasional jewelry gift means so much and is a real “I love you” gift.
I believe you can have precious memories and symbols of love. I think both are important. I had a client who was “given” a skiing vacation for her birthday.
She spent the better part of a day packing and getting the kids ready. Her husband invited some friends to join them on “her” gift trip. She spent four hours in an excruciatingly slow line getting poles and skiis for her kids and the couple’s two kids due to sickness among the staff and a severe understaffing. The kids were cranky and impatient. She finally got on the slopes and couldn’t find her husband and the friends. The kids got hungry and no one answered their phones so she got off the slopes and fed them.
At dinner her husband said, “pretty great birthday right babe?” She said it was all she could do not to burst into tears. She felt pretty uncared for.
I’m not saying don’t give travel for a gift, but if you do be sure that she gets pampered and isn’t feeling like an indentured servant.
I’m not suggesting that a trip gift from you would be as hard on your spouse as the “gift” for my client was. Sometimes a gift that is just for her shows that you appreciate her, love her and want her to have a beautiful symbol of that to wear. And looking at it and remembering who gave it to her and why can be such an uplifting experience.
It may sound incredibly goofy or pathetic or not, but sometimes when I am down or upset with my husband I’ll go to my jewelry box and put on something he gave me in love and go take a walk. It helps. It helps because I’m reminded that I am loved. And that is a healing thought to hold. It helps me get out of my funk.
And when I am happy and wearing jewelry he gave me, it adds to my overall good feelings.
Your Personal Jeweler,

Valarie December 22nd, 2015 at 10:28 pm

Calla, I’ve recently been glued to your website and facebook page. I’m educating myself as my sweet husband and I are shopping for a ring to celebrate our 31st wedding anniversary. (It was in October). The info you give is so straight forward, helpful and meaningful. But I digress! I’m commenting on this thread because I’m so impressed with the thoughtful, creative and warm responses you give to even the most contentious comments. As a dear and wise friend tells me when I do a good job “Go on with your bad self”

Calla Gold December 23rd, 2015 at 6:59 am

Dear Valarie,
Congratulations on your long and happy marriage. I’m so delighted that you have been spending time and enjoying my blog.
I appreciate your wise friend’s quote and that you put me under that umbrella.
I will continue to kindly respond to my detractors. It is nice that they visit my blog and feel passionate enough to take the time to comment. If you are curious to see the ne plus ultra of rude comments, check out my “Don’t Buy Tungsten or Titanium Wedding Bands” blog post. Positively flaming in places.
Thanks for your nice words.
Your Personal Jeweler,

Jennifer December 23rd, 2015 at 5:27 pm

I love your list, and the fact that you seem to respond to every comment! I just wish you could add suggestions for those of us that have a boyfriend or husband whom we actually have told, repeatedly, that we like and want jewelry, but they refuse for whatever reason. I have even gone so far as to show which pieces I like, and point out how inexpensive they are. He just comes up with a wide range of reasons for no until I just give up. I won’t lie, it hurts. Yes, I have bought my own, but like you said in your list – that’s not the point.

I just had to vent that anonymously to someone who might understand…

Calla Gold January 3rd, 2016 at 5:25 pm

Dear Jennifer,
It is painful. I just had to listen to my brother in law talk about how much he hates diamonds. He has all these ideas why diamonds are so awful. They are not based on fact. But he is my brother and I’m there to visit with him and enjoy my family and not debate him when he is just stuck on it. I love him so I just change the subject after he has ragged on my favorite gemstone until he’s satisfied. Just like I let him rant about some long gone rude driver.
Anyway back to your situation. I feel that you and I understand the idea, “if you like someone get them something you like, if you love someone get them something THEY love.” But there are people who “know best,” their opinions about something aren’t really open for debate and they are proud of their positions.
It leaves us out of the equation. They are just closed for business on that subject.
That said once in a while a situation comes up where you’re a real hero and your husband says so and perhaps suggests that you deserve recognition, or an award or something special. That is the time to say there is something very specific that I want. And bam you get it.
Then again there are plenty of women in my jewelry practice who chose their own very special gift, wrap it themselves and tell their husband, “see this package? Please sign this card. It’s your gift to me for my birthday and you’ll be my hero. We’ll just leave it up here until then.”
They show it to me the next time I see them. I say, “Oh my god that is gorgeous where did you ever get it?”
They say, “my husband gave it to me for my birthday!”
I say, “wow, what a guy.”
We smile.
I get it. We get it. Maybe one day he’ll get it.
Your Personal Jeweler,

Susan December 26th, 2015 at 5:05 pm

I am so glad I stumbled across your blog! I’ve been with my man for over 2 1/2 years. We are both in our 40s, divorced, professional people. We have kids, work hard, etc. He’s very generous to me and my daughter. We go to concerts, shows, out for wonderful dinners. He does buy me nice gifts. I’ve gotten jewelry from him but not the kind I’ve been hoping for. I did finally tell him I wanted something sparkly for the holidays or my birthday. So, he did. It’s a very pretty Swarovski crystal double bracelet. I actually love it but am disappointed that he didn’t pick up that I wanted diamonds!! I feel that we’ve been in a committed relationship long enough and it’s time for the real thing. He’s quite successful so it can’t be a money thing. He tells me he loves more than anything and wants to be with me for the long haul. So, I can’t figure this out and am getting so disappointed. Any thoughts??

Calla Gold January 3rd, 2016 at 4:56 pm

Hi Susan,
Sometime when he is in a good mood, when you’re out on a hike and life is good maybe ask him, “can I talk to you about something important to me?” Then let him know how much it would mean if you worn a piece of diamond jewelry that he gave you. Offer to show him what you like and then leave it up to him to choose from your suggestions. If he gets one right at that moment have it wrapped up and save it until the next birthday anniversary etc and open it then and wear it with joy.
I designed my own ring that I wanted with my husband Jeremy’s blessing. When all done I gave it to him to present to me with a card on our anniversary.
If he is flat out incapable of doing this let me know and I’ll up the ideas.
Your Personal Jeweler,

Bclassy January 9th, 2016 at 12:01 am

I love getting diamond as gifts and ladies you got to give your man a hint or just tell him you want a diamond. If you are in a long loving and lasting relationship than you deserve nice things.

Calla Gold January 9th, 2016 at 7:52 am

Hi Linda,
Thank you for your classy contribution to the conversation.
I had asked for a particular gem ring as a hint. Then I gave a bit of detail. He got the gem part right but ignored the important detail so that I kind of needed to do a bit of a re-design to make it work.
I got brave one night and asked him if he had heard me and why he had ignored my details. He remembered the first part of the request and felt that he must have zoned out on the rest. He said he didn’t mean to hurt my feelings or ignore or dismiss me, it was just that too much talk about it seemed to have gotten him to check out mentally.
I found that super interesting. So I said would picture examples have been helpful. He said yeah, that’d probably have stuck better than my “verbal rambling, (no offence).” I ramble about jewelry? Dang.
So there you have it, my research, on the ground with a real subject. I’m putting together my Pinterest page right now!
Sometimes those hints have to be carefully thought out so they aren’t too subtle and they stick.
Being obvious may be needed.
You deserve nice things. You are right.
Your Personal Jeweler,

Jule Eberle February 3rd, 2016 at 10:14 pm

My boyfriend and crush in high school moved from Bellevue Wa 02/2014, to where i live. There was lots of words with no back up, and he was always trying to give me jewelry that he said had been found in the hotel he did/had worked in…then one day i found a box of womens jewelry, including a wedding set. I was careful not to accept anything offered. Last Christmas 2014/15 my boyfriend walked out on me Christmas Eve…he said it was because of an argument, the argument was over that fact that he had made hotel arrangements for three days…medical trauma happened that January and again in December, both required hospitalization…September he had gone to the grocery store to get groceries and came home with a gift which he placed in my hand..” this is for you”, it was a sapphire necklace…the gift made me very nervous…something told me not to wear it….i did try to put it on but i couldn’t. During December the necklace disappeared. When he walked out January3, 2016….i found out that he had been seeing someone else…the necklace i never did find…i however did post it on FB…but it was seen on another person…never did understand any of this.

Calla Gold February 4th, 2016 at 10:08 am

Hello Jule,
It looks like you dodged a very dodgy bullet there. Well done for having the instincts to be aware that something was wrong. You certainly have a most intriguing tale of jewelry gifting and un-gifting. It is my sincere hope that the next man to give you jewelry truly treasures you and carefully selects his jewelry gift, buys it legitimately and gives it to you as an unconditional not to be repossessed gift.
Your Personal Jeweler,

Maranda February 7th, 2016 at 2:00 am

What would you say if I told you my boyfriend says he “doesn’t believe in jewelry”? What the heck does that even mean??

Calla Gold February 8th, 2016 at 7:01 am

Dear Maranda,
Sadly I believe this is a man who hasn’t seen examples in his life of his dad giving his mom a piece of jewelry and seeing how she cherishes it. I had a boyfriend when I was in High School named Jared. It was at a time of my life when I was feeling the power of my emotions and I believed if I gave enough love it would solve problems. He was cute in a tragic way, I think I thought I could fix him. It was slow going, my cheerfulness wasn’t getting through to him. My pointing out when he did something smart or right or cool got the brush off. He finally said he didn’t believe in love. As a hopeless romantic I found this statement just jammed sideways in my head and my heart and knocked me off my certainty and cheerful outlook on life. Being the bulldog of curiosity I plagued him with questions about this. Which ultimately led to him finding a more depressive, less talkative and curious girlfriend. (I was better off without him).
Before he dumped me he told me about how in his house his parents didn’t love each other and they didn’t love him or his two sisters. No one touched or hugged, no one said, “I love you.” And he just hung out till they kicked him out which could be any day.
His life sounded so hopeless and awful and sad and of course I wanted to fix it. I felt like I understood why he didn’t believe in love. But he’s the weird thing, I went to his house one time looking for him, which totally pissed him off by the way, his mom invited me in and his sisters were there. Here’s the thing they were really nice and they seemed to respect each other and tease each other and smile and look at each other. This wasn’t the psychological cesspool I had expected.
I do not know where he got this I don’t believe in love thing. And I don’t know where your fella gets his I don’t believe in jewelry thing. In fact I am feeling super unhelpful at this moment. Now you know about one of the inscrutable incidents in my life and my attempt to plumb the depths of human nature and find an answer.
Maybe ask him and have a convo about it and let him know what you believe. Even let him know that your feelings are different and what you’d like.
I wish you luck my jewelry loving friend.
Calla Gold

ToBe February 28th, 2016 at 9:58 pm

Hello interesting article thank you. You have probably seen it all so would love to hear your thoughts. Currently in divorce process. Married 17 years dated 7 before. I was an idiot in love but knew he was for himself always. Husband never liked buying jewellery and tried to convince me it was a waste of money. He did buy me a diamond engagement ring. He had shown me the ring while shopping one day and i said i didn’t like it and showed him the style i did like. Months later he gave me the one i didn’t like anyhow and it was set crooked. i stopped wearing it eventually. When i looked at it i thought of how he didn’t listen when i said i didn’t like the style. And that he didn’t want it to be perfect for me and gave it to me with a flaw. He never got it or seemed to care or listen to what i liked. Instead he felt i was spoiled But he was very specific with his likes and had standards as to what I should buy him. But i shouldn’t? He spent major credit on himself for big boy toys which were temporary but refused to get me an anniversary ring or just change my setting. Jewellery is not just jewellery…it signifies a lot more. That is if it has any value to the receiver.

Calla Gold February 29th, 2016 at 7:44 am

Hello ToBe,
Your story is very interesting. It sounds like the years have shown you your soon-to-be ex’s hypocritical behavior about personal gifts. I understand how you were so in love and it’d take a while for his patterns to emerge. It sounds like he wanted to be the smartest guy in the room and “know best” about what you should have. That kind of patronizing and evaluative attitude creates a barrier between what you want and what he decides you should have.
Unfortunately for him and his next female companion he will still be him, he’ll still not be the loving and giving man you’d hoped he’d be.
Loving someone includes helping them with projects maybe you think are dumb. And giving them things that make them happy which you may think could be better thought out.
I bought a vanity years ago when my boyfriend, now husband were first living together. It was at a yard sale that he didn’t want to stop at. It was in need of re-vanishing, but it had lovely bones. He said, “no way, no how.” So I paid for it with my own money and arranged to pick it up the next day. He said, “no I won’t help you pick up that thing.” So I called a friend with a pick-up truck and we drove to the house. The owner was in the process of moving and said he’d leave it in the garage and the side yard would be open so I could access the garage. Well of course it was locked up tight. I called my BF and he said, “you’re out of luck.” I was so steamed because he seemed pleased that I might not get this vanity.
In the middle of this posh neighborhood in my short dress I ungracefully climbed the fence and accessed the garage and freed my funky looking vanity from it’s dark garage.
Fast forward to me sanding then varnishing it. Did I mention I’d never done this before? So I nailed the sanding, but kind of failed on varnishing. After hours of work I just started crying. This was before the internet would just tell me how to do it.
Jeremy came out and was worried that I was crying, he’d never seen me do that.
He was such a champ. He told me how the varnish was on too thick and we had to let it dry and re-sand it and put it on thinly.
When I came home from work the next day he’d bought a finer brush, sanded it all and was finishing a thin layer of varnish. It looked so much better and was a really pretty piece of furniture. While it still stunk to high heaven he hauled in into the house and it looked so great. This time I cried because he’d been so kind and understanding and because our first fight was over. Since then he’s way cooler about things I care about that he doesn’t get.
I’m picturing a different outcome with your ex-fella. And I’m sorry you didn’t get the support and loving gestures you deserve.
Thank you for sharing your story. I figured I’d share one back.
Your Personal Jeweler,

chris June 21st, 2016 at 12:26 am

My girlfriend goaded and shamed me into buy her roughly 1500 in jewelry before Christmas. She said she would be happy if she didn’t have to resort to wearing jewelry from her exes. She has a large chest of diamond booty on her dresser… since Christmas she has worn my investment once and is now collecting dust in her hoard pile.

Should I buy her more?? Really?

Calla Gold June 23rd, 2016 at 8:29 pm

Dear Chris,
Hmmmm. Did you consult her on her preferences before you sunk your $1500.00 on her jewelry gift? I’m bothered that you were shamed into buying her jewelry, because it should be bought and given in love.
You are showing me perhaps another side of why men don’t buy women jewelry. I’d talk to her about it. Find out if it is not what she likes best.
I wish you luck on this. I still believe that it’s a wonderful thing for a man to buy his lady love jewelry.
Your Personal Jeweler,

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